This Stage of Life? It’s Hard TOO. {A Love Letter}

WebMD scared the hell out of you in  your 30s. But you’ve learned your lesson. You are smarter at 45. You avoid WebMD like the plague. You are a genius. You just forget a little.

In this stage of life you are merely a taxi. You are making aaaaaaaaall the trips on aaaaaaaall the days.

Trust me on this. This is the stage where you spend half of your afternoons texting other moms trying to remember if its YOUR day or THEIR? day to pick up kids. AND WHICH SCHOOL ARE THEY EVEN AT TODAY?

This stage of life is bloody chaos. 

In the stage of life you begin to understand that you just can’t do as much physically as you want to without having week long consequences. Roller coasters that you used to ride will reduce you to tears. Is your life insurance policy paid up to date??? Do you still want your same family member to raise your kids in the event of tragedy?

So.many.thoughts. just from an amusement park ride. This is why you end up letting your kids go without you. WHICH YOU VOWED YOU WOULD NEVER DO IN YOUR 30s.

In this stage, jumping on the trampoline with your kids will result in 3 chiropractor appointments next week.

Sledding? You are rolling the dice between beautiful family memories and crutches. For real.

You focus on things like “recovery time”. You hate that you are getting old.

In the stage of life you start doing crazy things like half marathons and triathlons and 9Rounds to remind yourself that you may be middle-aged but you can still keep up with these thirty-somethings.

Then…… you tear your shoulder and decide keeping up with those 30 somethings is a dumb idea. Just whatever.

This stage of life is a lot of eating crow because all those things you never said you do with your kids? You’re totally doing. All those judgments you made against all those older moms? You are eating your words.  You eat crow in your 40s.  Alot. It’s so much easier to parent teens when you don’t have teens. Trust me on this.

In this stage of life you still need girlfriends like crazy. Girlfriends to text inappropriate memes to in the middle of the night.  Girlfriends you can bounce rules and punishments and boundaries and questions off of. Girlfriends who will share important info with you like how they worded their living will and who they went to for plastic surgery consults.

You need girlfriends who will assure you that you’re not screwing everything up thing up. Girls who will bring you raw chip cookie dough or a bottle of moscato on a moments notice. Girls who are in the thick of this season right along with you. There is nothing quite like a bunch of moms joining arms. I love my girls so much.

In this season of your middle 40s you’re finally coming into your own as a grown up. You’ve finally learned that sometimes you just need to say… screw it. And to some people you just need to say…. screw it.

You finally figure out how to say no and not apologize.  You say yes to the things that are meaningful.  I’m telling you….. your face may disappoint you with its facial lines and it’s sagging skin but you will be gutsier in your 40s than you have ever been in your life and I believe the trade-off is worth it.

You let.crap.go. You have too many carpool lines to drive in to worry about what someone thinks of your life decisions. Bless your 30s heart. You are so much more comfortable in your wrinkled skin in your 40s. Thank you Jesus!

In the stage of life everything is going at warp speed and there is a constant temptation to look back and wish that you had done more. Saved more. Said more. Been more.

You start to wonder things like when was the last time you actually washed your daughters hair or carried your son to bed? You’ll feel like a jerk because you can’t remember. You feel bad that you haven’t journal-ed enough or scrapbooked since 2002. But who has time to scrapbook when you are in the carpool line 33% of your time????

Right now in your 30s you are strictly in survival mode. In your 40s you wake back up from that survival slumber and you take your life back.

And you start thinking that 50 doesn’t look that old at all.

I’m going to tell you that your little girls will suddenly start acting

And your sons start to smell like your husband. Every day there is more facial hair, armpit hair and oh my gosh how are they wearing size 12 shoes? This is the most precious precious precious stage with them yet. And yet I miss the stage you are in too.

And the more you try to keep these kids little….. the bigger they get. And I promise you when everything in me that if you think they are growing fast in the toddler stage….. this teen stage way outdoes that.

In your 40s you start getting a whole new perspective of how little you know and how much you jacked up earlier in life. You start getting this incredible understanding of how God’s grace is enough to cover all of your mess ups.

And it forever will humble you to know that your kids are going to turn out amazing…. despite yourself.

Yes, your 30s are hard. You are exhausted 110% of the time.

And your 40s are hard too. But they are a rewarding hard. They are a sweet hard. They are a different hard.

And you’re going to love them.

The 40s are hard. But they rock.

Incontinence, wrinkles, capris and all.

Come on in. The waters just fine.




This article originally appeared at The Magic Brush.

Jennifer Allwood
Jennifer Allwood
Jennifer Allwood is a passionate cheerleader of women who adds biblical truth to the modern day “dream big” mantra. She’s the author of Fear Is Not the Boss of You: How to Get Out of Your Head and Live the Life You Were Made For  and host of The Jennifer Allwood Show which holds a regular spot in the Top 25 Entrepreneurship Podcasts in the world with 1.5 million downloads. Her no-nonsense approach to doing things you are scared to do and saying yes to God is helping women everywhere build the life and business of their dreams. When she’s not coaching her nearly 3,000 clients each month, she’s livin’ the dream with Mr. Magic (her husband, Jason) and their four wild kiddos—Noah, Easton, Ava Grace, and their new bonus kiddo, Ariana. 

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