Marry the One Who Will Call You “Fartface”

A recent Facebook memory reminded of a funny event in my marriage that happened two years ago. It was a memory that I re-shared on my timeline, because, believe it or not, it involved Chipotle and insults and is kind of a defining moment in my marriage. And now, I want to share it with you.

One night when I was hangry, my husband ordered Chipotle for us and went to pick it up, which is not that unusual (neither my hangry-ness nor his solving it with take out were unusual, I mean Ha ha). BUT, when he got home with the food, I opened up that brown Chipotle bag in hangry anticipation of my veggie bowl, and…

I DIED laughing. Because this is what I saw:

You see, when he was asked for a name for each entree, my husband had told them “Bobby” (his name) for his, and “Fartface” for mine.

FARTFACE. Yeah. I laughed soooo hard, because the reason he did that is that, well, we’d been calling each other “Fartface” for YEARS, after we saw a super-dumb-yet-hilarious Saturday Night Live sketch about…calling people Fartface. (I couldn’t find it on YouTube, so you’ll just have to believe me.) Fartface was a term of endearment, to us…of sorts. Mostly, it was just another way we had of making each other laugh. And I truly believe that though we’ve had a great marriage, we would not have made it through the good times OR the bad times without LAUGHTER.

My husband and I are just three days away from our 18th wedding anniversary. I know 18 years is good-but-not-epic, but still, I think it’s long enough to make me qualified to dole out some marriage advice here and there.

So, here it comes. My advice to all the young ladies out there making a list of all the qualities the man of their dreams must possess:

Marry the One who will call you “Fartface.”


Jenny Rapson
Jenny Rapson
Jenny is a follower of Christ, a wife and mom of three from Ohio and a freelance writer and editor.

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