We crossed a weird milestone in our lives yesterday.
Our daughter turned 18.
This means we are no longer legally bound to each other.
We are no longer required to follow rules that lawyers laid down for us.
There’s no more every other weekend,Thursday nights, and rotating holiday schedule.
There’s no more financial obligation and shared medical requirements.
There’s no more scheduling around each other or checking to make sure our lives fit in with each others.
As of yesterday, we’re separate parents.
We coparented for 18 years and it’s not something you just shut off.
Even though there’s no longer someone telling us how to do it, we will continue to work together because there’s one lesson we’ve learned along the way that we will not easily forget.
It’s about the kids.
All about the kids.
We’ve spent 18 years swallowing our pride, setting down what is best for our individual selves and picking up what is best for her.
We’ve spent 18 years talking through issues and finding solutions.
We’ve spent 18 years nourishing a healthy relationship so she could have us both at the same time.
And now that time is up and everything has legally changed, nothing will change at all.
We’ll spend the next 18 years swallowing our pride, setting down what is best for our individual selves and picking up what is best for her.
We’ll spend the next 18 years talking through issues and finding solutions.
We’ll spend the next 18 years nourishing a healthy relationship so she can have us both at the same time.
Because when it comes to our relationship, it’s still all about her.
She’s our link, always has been and always will be.
One day her children will link us as grandparents and those kids will also deserve for us to be the adults. Those kids will also deserve to have their grandparents together in the same room. Those kids will also deserve to know they are more important than whatever came between the two of us so many years ago.
