“There are three things that amaze me—no, four things that I don’t understand: how an eagle glides through the sky, how a snake slithers on a rock, how a ship navigates the ocean, how a man loves a woman.” – Proverbs 30:18-19.
As the fireworks burst in the jet-black sky around us, I marveled how our date night was perfectly ordinary. We had been given the chance to get dressed up and make the best of the Fourth of July, since my in-laws had the kids for the evening. Instead, we found ourselves in t-shirts and jean shorts, cruising our small town in search of Poke stops and gyms.
Barefoot in the grass, we made our way to a “gym” in our Pokémon Go App before hopping back in the truck in order to drive to another one in town. I loved every moment of our perfectly ordinary evening. There was no champagne, fancy clothes, or violins serenading us in the background. There was no hype, glitz or glamour. It was a perfectly ordinary moment in the dark.
This seems to me the secret to being married for twenty years: cultivating ordinary moments into the life you want to live with your spouse. These little moments seem to be what holds us together, more so than any big moments in our marriage.
Boring is beautiful. Boring is ordinary.
While my husband hasn’t chased me down in an airport to profess his undying love for me or shown up at my door in a limo prepared to fly me away from reality, he has walked with me hand in hand thousands of times around the sun. He’s gone to Wal-Mart at Mid-night for milk. He’s helped clean up puke and put money into savings instead towards his dream boat.
Chris and I met in high school. We sat next to each other in home economics and started dating when I was 15. We got married two weeks after my 18th birthday and it still feels like it was yesterday.
We work 8 to 5, raise three kids together, we talk about what we’re planning for dinner, or if we’re going to meet at the gym. Once we get through the typical night of dinner, kids, chores, and the bedtime routine, we find ourselves going for a walk talking about anything and everything. This boring, unremarkable love spends Friday nights at one of three places in our small-town community, dancing to an indie band, watching movies with our kids, or eating sushi at one of our favorite places. It’s always one of the three or sometimes all three.
Whether I’m dressed to the nines in a little black dress or wearing a sports bra with no makeup, I won’t find myself crying, hurt, or insecure because I don’t have to worry catching his eyes traveling over another woman’s body. Sadly enough, many couples who end their marriage do so because one of the partners “got bored.”