I Want My Strong-Willed Child to Continue Rolling Her Eyes — Here’s Why

And with an eye-roll, my daughter turned away. She is two, and she can roll her eyes in a complete circle like a hamster wheel. Ahh, this is my strong-willed child in action.

“You’re in trouble,” I have heard from bystanders, friends, and family. “I am in trouble,” I, myself, have even said on multiple occasions.

My eldest has a big personality, an extrovert who likes to challenge the status quo and try to get a rise out of me, her-mama-that-sometimes-wants-to-scream. And in some ways, I am in trouble. I know those teenage years are going to be interesting, but can I let you in on a little secret?

I will be happy to be in this kind of trouble. Teenagers being rebellious, not listening, breaking curfew, is so “teenage-like.” Yes, we as parents will set consequences and punishments for her actions — but doesn’t this all sound so refreshingly normal? To me, it sounds kind of blissful.

Let me explain. I was a goody-two-shoes that never thought about breaking a rule or rolling even one of my two eyes. And my point in bringing this up is I spent my teenage years completely wrapped up in my head — second guessing myself, people-pleasing, self-doubting, trying to be perfect — that I missed out on everything, even finding out who I was. I’d rather my teenager second guess me, roll her eyes at me, and be mad at me for not allowing her to hang out with her friends, then sit home and self-hate, and even worse do something about that self-hate (I had an eating disorder).

Danielle Sherman-Lazar
Danielle Sherman-Lazar
Dani Sherman-Lazar is an eating disorder advocate, Vice President of a transportation company, and a mother to two daughters. Follow her on her blog Living a Full Life After ED and like it on Facebook. Her book Living FULL: Winning My Battle with Eating Disorders is available for pre-order on Amazon.

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