“We are becoming the sisters and mothers and friends that some of us never had.” — “Becoming Us”
Every generation would agree that having a circle of friends is essential. It’s also a gift that is becoming rare. For the first time in history, most friendship circles are being created online. We have become skilled at friending and unfriending, liking and posting and pinning. We can gather information on any topic in seconds and tap out our advice with nimble thumbs.
But in the blossoming of all this accessibility, are we losing the art of experiencing true community? How many real, face-to-face, heart-to-heart, flaws-and-all friendships do you have?
According to a study from Duke University, there’s a 35 [percent] drop in the number of women who invite friends to come over and a 58 [percent] drop in those who join clubs. The most sobering result of the 20-year study revealed that 50 [percent] said they were just one friend away from social isolation.
How can any of us realistically experience those appealing phrases in all the clever memes—“Doing Life Together,” “Building Authentic Community” and “Gathering Your Tribe”.
Here are five ways you can begin creating friendships with other women so that you can become the sisters, mothers, and friends that you never had.
Initiate
Go ahead. Be brave. Invite a few women to your home and simply talk. Don’t use it as a chance to pitch anything you’re selling. Let it be messy. The goal is to communicate to other women, “I see you. I want to include you. I’m willing to see how our face-to-face personalities mingle and meld.”
The characters in my new book, “Becoming Us,” did this when one character hosted a “Favorite Things Party.” Each of the five women brought one of her favorite things, such as a box of tea. When they shared it with the other women, they explained why it was a favorite. Everyone went home with one of each of the favorite things along with insight into the others at the gathering.
Get Out More
Are you feeling isolated with young children? Make a jaunt to the park or mall play area a priority and keep your phone in your purse. Greet the other moms and ask for recommendations. Everyone loves to give their opinion on places to eat, kid-friendly movies, events or classes in the area.
