I’m a White Mom of 3 Black Boys— And I’m Scared For Them to Become Black Men

I am a white momma raising five black children. Three of them are black boys. They are beautiful, bright, kind, and absolutely precious to me. They are little now and most people find them darling. (They are.) And while people think they are cute now, how will they be perceived as they grow? As they look like men?

Can you imagine how parents of little black boys must be feeling these days?


How do I simultaneously teach them that they are perfect just as God created them to be…that they are beautiful, strong, and good. That they have worth and value and should be proud of who they are….but also teach them that the world may not see them that way? That they’ll need to be “extra” respectful of authority and need to worry about how they’ll be perceived because of their skin color? How do you teach this double standard and maintain their value and integrity?

I haven’t a clue.

I don’t want to teach my children about the realities of this world, and yet somehow I must try prepare them. I must go above and beyond in teaching my babies how to interact with law enforcement…to keep their hands visible, to announce their movements before they make them, to give eye contact, not to mumble, and not to argue even if questions or accusations seem unfair.

Kathy Garrison
Kathy Garrisonhttp://kathygarrison.net/
Kathy Garrison is a wife and momma to eight children, both by birth and adoption. She relies heavily on coffee,her girlfriends, and lots of grace to keep her sanity...not necessarily in that order. She writes about faith, family, adoption, and everyday life at kathygarrison.net.

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