The other day I was pondering parent quotes and trying to remember a funny Erma Bombeck quote I’d once read. This pondering soon led me down the rabbit hole that is an Internet search for funny parenting quotes. Thankfully, it was a really funny rabbit hole that was good for my mom soul. Here are 10 of the funniest quotes I found—I WISH I could’ve said these better myself, but alas, these people are funnier than me. In some cases, I’ve added my own commentary in bold. Enjoy!
10 Parenting Quotes From Famous People
- “When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” —Erma Bombeck
- “All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.” —Erma Bombeck
- “Insanity is hereditary. You can catch it from your kids.” —Erma Bombeck (I really wish I could high-five Erma for this one!)
- “Having children is like living in a frat house—nobody sleeps, everything’s broken and there’s a lot of throwing up.” —Ray Romano (Ermgersh. Just call my house Pi Sigma Crappa.)
- “Becoming a mom to me means that you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.” —Nia Vardalos (That you will never, ever be able to find anything in.)
- “Children aren’t happy without something to ignore, and that’s what parents were created for.” —Ogden Nash
- “A 2-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.” —Jerry Seinfeld (Or an off button.)
- “Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.” —Ed Asner (In that case, I really, really, need a bulletproof vest!)
- Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing. – Phyllis Diller
- “The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” —Lane Olinghouse
