The First Time I Had Sex

Now that I have your attention…

The first time I had sex was on my wedding night when I was 29 years and 51 weeks old…but who’s counting. I actually asked Luke if he’d mind waiting a week to get some action so I could write a book entitled “30-year-old virgin.” He wasn’t havin’ it. In fact he flung a piece of our wedding cake on a plate, gently grabbed my arm and ushered me into our car. He was ready to hit the hotel. Ha! I was so glad I waited all those years, but it was not easy. Looking back, there were several times I could have been forced to have sex or had it or for the wrong reasons.


Up until my early 20’s I was adamant about NOT having sex until marriage. It wasn’t because of my parents’ warnings, my youth pastor’s advice or what I heard from the pulpit at church every Sunday that caused me to remain a virgin. It was the pact I made with God when I was 10 years old. One afternoon I wrote in my journal and asked God to not return to Earth until I got married and had sex (because I knew I couldn’t have sex in heaven). What in the world was I thinking at the age of 10? Regardless, my virginity was something I promised I would cherish and give as a gift to only one person – my husband. Little did I know I would wait 19 years. Some teasing in high school, major pressure from the media and being immersed in the Hollywood lifestyle for over a decade made it hard to follow through with my promise, but by God’s grace I made it to the altar.

first time I had sex


There were, however, some close calls. One night while walking on the Atlantic Boardwalk in Newark, New Jersey, my wish was almost demolished. A friend flew me to the east coast to model pageant dresses for the Miss America judges. During this time, I was going through a tough break up with someone I thought was “the one.” I was wrestling with God for several weeks about my frustration with guys who would say they would “wait” but when they realized I was serious about the “no sex” thing, they would leave me at the curb. I didn’t date many guys, because I really loved my single fly-around-the-world lifestyle, but after this breakup – I was over it. I told God as I was walking down the boardwalk that night that I was going to find a dance club, pick out the hottest guy in the crowd and just “do it” to get it over with!

God obviously heard me, because moments later, an old man with a long white beard, wearing brown burlap-looking clothes and sandals appeared about 20 feet behind me. Even though his face was not visible under his hood, he started to shout to me above the noise of the crowd, that I had promised I would wait until my wedding night to have sex. He said I should honor God and not give up. I turned around twice and told him I would keep my pact with God. I said, “I promise, I’ll wait. I promise I won’t have sex until my wedding night!” I took two more steps forward in my flashy high heels in the middle of this crowded street and had a minor heart attack. How in the world did this old man know what I was going through and telling God moments before?

Sure enough, when I quickly turned around the third time – he was gone. I know God sent an angel that night to let me know he understood my pain, frustration, fear, anger and was there to encourage me to keep on the right path and trust that He had my best interests at heart. Four years later, Luke entered the scene and God definitely knew what was best for me. I will cherish this pivotal moment for the rest of my life.

The following Rebecca St. James video “Wait for Me” is a great reminder of why I wanted to save myself for marriage. I played it for years at hundreds of youth events. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

God will bring the right person in His perfect timing. God wants you to trust Him and focus on serving Him now, so you’ll meet your best friend while you’re serving the Lord. How cool is that? And if you’ve already been sexually active, God forgives, forgets and that is NOT who you are as a person. Your past is not your identity. You can make better choices starting at this very moment.


This article originally appeared at The Counter Culture Mom.

Tina Marie Griffin
Wisconsin farm kid turned Hollywood actress, Tina Griffin earned a BA in Film and TV broadcasting from California State University – Los Angeles and has become a leading pop culture expert. When she isn't traveling and speaking, you will find her busy producing radio spots, blogging, cooking, homeschooling her 4 munchkins or having a romantic date night with her best friend - husband Luke. Tina’s mission is to encourage others to live with integrity and to use their talents to create positive change in their culture. Learn more about Tina and her mission at her website, The Counter Culture Mom.

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