A Letter to My Daughters On the Day of Your Adoption: I Don’t Love You ‘Like You’re My Own’

To my daughters on the day of your adoption,

I’ve called you by that label, that sacred name, “daughter,” many times. But today is different.

Today there’s no prefix, no subtext, no “sort of but not really” as there has always been before. You’re not my foster daughter, I don’t love you “like you’re my own.” Today you are wholly, completely, for forever my daughter.

Image: Hannah Marie Photo

You were dropped off at our home, dropped into our family, and we chose to love you like a daughter. We chose it even before we had the chance to fall in love with you. But the falling happened. After bursting into our family, you eased into our lives and hearts. The formalities of our state-regulated, court-appointed, “temporary” relationship faded away. We dropped the “foster” from your title, and you simply became “daughter.”

When I birthed your brother and sister, becoming a mother and loving them as a mother loves, completely shocked me. One moment they weren’t here, and the next I loved them more than life. Today isn’t like that.

Today reminds me more of when I married your daddy. I met him. Then I fell in love with him, knew I would spend the rest of my life with him. And then came the day to make it official. Papers were signed, names were changed, ceremonies were had, but I didn’t love him any more than I had the day before. He was the same. I was the same. Nothing had changed. But everything had. After that day, we belonged to each other, officially, forever.

Image: Hannah Marie Photo

Today is our day, my dear, when I take you as my daughter, when I vow to love you forever. Today is our day when nothing and when everything changes.
I believe that, as of today, our family is now complete. That the six of us will be at this “family” thing, just us, forever. As far as I can see, our growing family has finished growing. But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe others will join this little unit of ours. But, I know, I know,that no matter what, we are a family now. Forever.

This day, this adoption day, is one of the happiest days of my life. Today, I become your mother. Today, you become my daughter.

Happy Adoption Day, my dear daughter, I love you.



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Jamie C
Jamie is a bio mom to two kiddos, foster/”definitely-for-now-maybe-forever”/pre-adoptive mom to two littles, and short-term foster mom to whichever baby needs a home this week.  The 4+ kids in and out of her home make for some light-heart musings and some heavier broodings on her blog, Foster the Family and as a contributor for the Huffington Post. Follow her at: www.facebook.com/fosterthefamilyblog