Oh, friends, I lived and breathed the words, ‘He will change.’ They gave me the ability to justify everything that wasn’t quite right. They gave me an excuse to ignore God’s will while forcing my own.
I chose to be with men who treated me like dirt rather than choosing to wait on God for the man who would love me like Christ loved the church.
I didn’t know my value or worth. I allowed the way that I was treated to mold my identity. I was so desperate to be loved and seen that I succumbed to these relationships as a way to feed my dependency.
I was recently watching a documentary (see below) where college students talked about their experiences with dating. They said that dating is basically archaic. Pursuing one another and talking face to face at dinner has been replaced with swiping left or right and hooking up when the sun goes down.
Sometimes I think we forget that with every guy that we give ourselves over to, either in a ‘Netflix & Chill’ situation or an on-and-off again tumultuous relationship, that we are giving away a piece of our hearts that should have belonged to our husbands.
You won’t ever get that back.
Friends, dating is hard. Being single is hard – especially when we see engagements, weddings and baby announcements flooding our social media feeds. I know first-hand how desperately we can long to hear the words, “Will you marry me?” and how all-consuming it can be until that day comes.
But when we start to believe that we are worth more than an empty and temporary fix, that we should wait on God to bring one of the good ones, we will begin to see the bigger picture more clearly.
I want to remind you today that no matter how hard you try and force God’s will and silence His voice, it still won’t make it right.
This guy – whoever he is – isn’t your last hope. He’s not as good as it gets. Compromising your convictions because he makes you feel seen ‘every once in a while’ isn’t what God has intended for you.
As women, if we sugarcoat a man’s poor character and decisions simply because we like the status of “taken”, remember that that doesn’t make us gracious, it makes us gluttons for punishment.
That “good” guy who asked me out at 19 is now my sweet husband. And he is still so good to me. He relies on Jesus in his failures and imperfections and reminds me that my own do not define me.
Sweet friends, let your prayer today be an echo of Luke 22:42, ‘Not my will, but yours, be done.”
Replace your desperation and longing for a husband with a true desire to seek and know God with your whole mind and soul. And let Him guide your heart from here.
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This article originally appeared at Sparrows and Lily.
