Kay Warren: Four Things My Son’s Suicide Taught Me About Mental Health & The Church

It’s been 10 years now since Saddleback Church pastors Rick and Kay Warren tragically lost their son Matthew to suicide. The 27-year-old had suffered from depression since the age of seven.

Being the founders of one of the country’s largest and most developed mega-churches, Kay admits that she and Rick struggled at first with how to understand and accept their son’s diagnosis.

“There are signs that show a child is struggling,” she recalls. “Somehow, we missed it.”

The death of her son nearly broke Kay, but God is bigger than any earthly tragedy we will ever face. Kay’s deepest heartbreak led to her greatest calling.

Despite the astronomical rates of mental illness and suicide among teens and young adults, Kay says the faith community has traditionally treated these topics as taboo, something she calls a “tragic misunderstanding.”

“Mental illness is an illness. When you start to understand that, you can start to fix the stigma. When someone is courageous enough to start talking about it, then it opens the doors for treatment and healing.”

kay Warren

In recognizing the crucial role that church leaders play in eradicating the stigma around mental illness, Rick and Kay Warren have set out on a mission to educate others about mental illness. Their goal is to equip churches and families so we can better minister to people living with a mental illness while shining a light on topics that are traditionally taboo in the church.

Here are four things I learned about mental illness and the church from Kay Warren:

1. “Mental illness is real, it’s common and it’s treatable.”

Kay Warren said this is the most important thing she has to say about this issue. So many people have the wrong idea in church that mental illness is only a spiritual problem and can be fixed with prayer. She says, “The spiritual side of who we are is one layer, but we’re a whole — we’re a body, a soul, and a spirit, and things go wrong on all levels. And stuff goes wrong in our bodies and it affects our brains and it affects our behavior and our choices.”

She says, “Mental illness is largely treatable. There’s so much that can be done. There’s medication, there’s therapy, there’s things we can do to nourish our whole selves.”

Sadly, “It’s a neglected topic. When you get down to it, unless you take a specific course in seminary, you’re not likely to get a lot of education in seminary or Bible college about mental illness. And if you do, unfortunately, it usually will revolve around the idea that it’s all spiritual, and that there’s nothing physical or emotional that’s involved. So not only is it neglected, it can even be a distorted message taught.”

2. Statistics about Mental Illness and Suicide from Kay Warren

Studies show that there are about 60 million Americans who will experience a mental illness in any given year, so that’s like one in five adults, one in ten children will experience a mental illness in any given year.

Far from being rare and unusual, we all know somebody right now in this moment who is living with a mental illness, or it could be you, it could be me.

Half of all adults will experience a mental illness in their lifetime

There’s no respecter of age, race, family.

Seventy percent of clergy (Matthew Stanford Survey) don’t feel equipped to handle mental illness, so we have to do a better job of equipping because it’s common.

About 23 percent of pastoral care calls are related to mental illness.

Bri Lamm
Bri Lamm
Bri Lamm is the Editor of foreverymom.com. An outgoing introvert with a heart that beats for adventure, she lives to serve the Lord, experience the world, and eat macaroni and cheese all while capturing life’s greatest moments on one of her favorite cameras. Follow her on Facebook.

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