As a Christian toddler mom, and a pastor’s wife in a rural community, I have battled feelings of loneliness more times than I’d like to admit.
I have been a very lonely mom.
I’ve thrown 2 birthday parties for my toddler. I think party planning is difficult… yet I am able to throw a lonely mom pity-party for myself easily with almost no prior notice…(complete with tantrums and snacks).
Mom loneliness is a real thing.
Have you been there? It looks something like this:
- Shallow conversations
- Deep loneliness – you can feel it in your stomach
- The need to share in adult yet lighthearted conversation
- Spiritual dryness
- Awkward or contrived attempts to form playdates
- Maybe even depression
That’s just where Satan wants us. He wants us to feel alone, desperate, and separate from God and other moms. He wants you to be a lonely mom. God, however, has designed us for COMMUNITY.
Thankfully, I’ve recently made some valuable friendships, and I’d like to share some tips with you (and to my own heart) on how to battle the feelings of loneliness in motherhood.
1. Lower your expectations
Hear me out. I know that’s not necessarily the warmest tip to start the list with, but I think that this is the biggest step I had to overcome.
I think one of our biggest problems is that we are often looking for a mom friend who meets all of our manufactured categories.
We want a mom friend who:
- pursues us and initiates conversations with us
- is about the same age as us
- has the same worldview as us
- has children the same age as us
- has the same sense of humor as us and thinks we are funny
- has kids that get along with our kids
- isn’t too busy to do impromptu mom-dates or grocery store outings
And while these would all be nice, it isn’t very practical for one single person to meet all of these requirements. The hurdle I had to jump through was that while having a friend who I perceived to be the perfect friend might be ideal in my own head – this isn’t God’s plan.
