A Thank You Letter To the Men Who Will Never Buy Sex

Dear Men,

No, not all of you. This one goes out to the men who have never, and will never, sexually exploit another human for their own personal satisfaction. As a wife, a mother, and as a woman in this community, I want to offer a personal thank you to you. You aren’t talked about enough, and I think it’s about time that you were recognized.

To law enforcement agents and first responders like my husband, who choose this job to help others and not because you think it gives you easy access to hurting and vulnerable women and youth. Thank you for protecting and saving lives even in the face of hatred.

To young men like my 18-year-old son, Elijah, and his best friend, Michael. Who ran outside when they heard a woman being sexually assaulted by a man at three in the morning. Thank you for being the kind of men who protect instead of egg on a rapist. We’ve seen enough of that in the news and countless universities. Thank you for being the kind of men who stand between a victim and her abuser, so she knows she isn’t alone while you wait for the police to arrive.

To the men who take their role of teacher seriously. Thank you for taking the time to teach my daughters how healthy men talk to girls. For never asking for their SnapChat or sexting them over the weekend. Thank you for modeling how young men should speak to their female peers and teaching my sons how to honor women.

To the coaches who do not condone pornography in the locker rooms or perverted talk among their players. Thank you for setting a higher standard of what is normal instead of the exhausting diatribe of “boys will be boys” that seems to have taken hold in settings like these. You are creating a ripple effect of respect that these young men will carry with them into their marriages.

To the celebrity that wields his fame well. Thank you for knowing that your position brings a level of responsibility that only you can choose to wear well. Your status has the ability to cause others to turn a blind eye to some of your behaviors. Thank you for being the kind of man that never needs that sort of special treatment because you choose to be a man who behaves honorably.

To the pastor, youth leaders, and Christian authors and musicians. Thank you deeply for giving my children an example of how Christ would have loved if he was standing in your shoes today. For creating spaces and words and art that reflects the heart of a Christ follower and directs people to God’s love and truths.

To politicians like my brother, Kristopher, who take to heart what it means to be in a position of authority and never abusing that. Some politicians hire children to massage them after a stressful day. But people like you remember that you are here to protect our kids, not exploit them at your whim.

Shontell Brewer
Shontell Brewerhttp://shontellbrewer.com
Shontell Brewer is a wife and mother to her five children, ages 20 to 12. She holds a master’s in divinity with an emphasis in urban ministry. Her most recent project is an arts-integrated prevention curriculum for minors trafficked across the nation. She speaks as a prevention specialist to communities affected by sex trafficking. Find her at ShontellBrewer.com, and on Instagram and Facebook at Shontell Brewer. Her book, Missionary Mom is due fall of 2018.

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