3. While you’re not angry, spend some time thinking about your triggers. When are you most easily angered? Are there specific things that tend to set you off?
4. When you experience anger it’s often an indication that something deeper is happening under the surface. Once you’ve cooled down, ask yourself some hard questions: Are you afraid of something? Feeling insecure? Stressed out? Feeling like a failure? And so forth. What is the anger trying to help you see? Once you’ve pinpointed those things, then you can begin to map out how to address them.
5. Identify a safe person or two in your life with whom you can confess and also hold yourself accountable to.
6. Deal with shame if it rears its ugly head.
7. Practice self care and soul care. There are plenty of ideas in this series to help you determine what that could look like for you.
8. Decide how you can be proactive with addressing circumstances surrounding your anger. Do you need to schedule a weekly evening for alone time? Do you need to take 15 minute daily walks without filling your ears with a podcast or even music, focusing instead on the sounds of the neighborhood or your footsteps or the chatter your toddler makes in her stroller? Do you need to learn centering prayer or take a weekly yoga class or give yourself a strict 9:00pm bedtime until your baby starts sleeping through the night? Do you need to join a MOPS group or let go of some unnecessary volunteering commitments for a season or rearrange your housework so you can snuggle up next to your little one for afternoon naps?
9. Make some time to play with your children. Get down on the floor or go outside or take a bath together with some bath crayons. Often times too much multitasking is stressing us out more than we realize and we soldier on without realizing how far we strung ourselves out. A focused hour of play and bonding can sometimes be one of the sweetest, simplest antidotes to our parenting frustrations.
10. And most importantly dear mama, include Jesus in your struggles. He wants to show you his kindness and empower you to receive it and walk in it. He wants to be strong in your weakness. He wants you to access his grace. He wants you to celebrate your humanity but never forget that he doesn’t abandon you to it. He will help you. He will stretch and grow you. He will guide you and teach you and even comfort you when you blow it.
As I tell my mom-friends over and over again: You will never be the perfect mother but you are the perfect mother for your child. Rest in this wonderful match that God has orchestrated and trust that he knew what he was doing when he made you their mom.
You’ve got this. Now take a nap.
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This article originally appeared at KindredMom.com. For more from Adriel, visit AdrielBrooker.com.
