You think to yourself “I got this. I can do this.” Then BAM. Now you being physically assaulted by the very same 2-year-old as she bites your arm and squeezes your neck fat because you asked her to wear pants.
Then two minutes later, you are back to being brought to tears at how sweet and proud you are of your little one when he writes you a love note you or makes a spot on the couch and snuggles up next to you.
I really find it funny how difficult the most basic things can be when you have small children. Things I never imagined would take so much time or be such a big fight. Simple and normal things such as, getting your kids to eat something…anything, getting into the car, putting on shoes, or just teaching them how to use a toilet.
I certainly never thought I could work up a sweat from going to the grocery store… carrying a kid, pushing the cart, running after an escapee, and the pure stress trying to get my freak show out of the store before it is too late.
Then there is my house, I would describe it as utter chaos. I do my best to keep up with the chores, but the dishes from yesterday sometimes sit on my counter, there are piles of laundry all over, granola bar wrappers in every corner, and the toys…oh the toys. I have every intention of having them all separated neatly into separate bins and keeping everything that goes together in one spot. That’s a joke.
So, no. I am DEFINITELY not the perfect mom I once thought I would be. I’m far from it. Every single day I am reminded how far from perfect I really am; how far from even being “okay.”
My house may not be clean and organized, my kids sometimes smell, I am not cool, I’m definitely not patient, I lose my temper…a lot, and, according to my kids, I’m not fair…ever.
BUT I am here for them no matter what. Their lunatic mom loves them completely. I am fumbling through this motherhood thing… taking this one day, one step at a time and doing my very best. My kids are my life. All I can do is pray that the mom I turned out to be is enough.
This post originally appeared at The Huffington Post.