The Life-Changing Answer to “Why Can’t I Be Like Other Moms?”

other moms

Inevitably it happens. It sneaks up unaware. I find myself in a situation, surrounded by other mothers, and I lament internally, why can’t I be like that?! The perfect mother.

I’ll see the crafty mom, the one who does projects with their kids daily. I’ll grimace at the fact that most days it’s all I can do to make it through the fundamentals, and the thought of extra art time is exhausting.

Why can’t I be like that?

I’ll see the mom who’s always on time. I’m not even sure what that means. With each child I’ve added, I’ve lost five minutes of each hour, and fashionably late is my new M.O.

Why can’t I be like that?

I’ll see the cool, collected mom who never yells. I, on the other hand, end at least one day a week in tears and prayers to the Lord to help me be a better, more patient mother.

Why can’t I be like that?

I’ll see the mom who loves all the parties, field trips, and extracurriculars. Meanwhile, I’m dragging a flipping-out four year old by the hand, holding a dangerously curious toddler like a sack of potatoes on my hip, and I’m gritting my teeth and whispering to self, can I leave yet, can I leave yet. I just don’t always enjoy peopling.

Why can’t I be like that?

I have come to understand that I’ve never wanted to do anything more perfectly than I do mothering, but I can never quite obtain that level I desire. Many times I do myself a disservice when I look away from my own calling to that of others. After all, motherhood is a calling. It’s a ministry God places women in, and like most mission fields, He equips His disciplines appropriately. But when I lose sight of the giftings He has placed in me I cannot carry it out as He wills. When I look at someone else’s calling and long for their gifts, I’m negating the power of my own.

Every mother is bestowed special talents for the task of parenthood, and the reason we’re given a variety of special skills is because we’re raising special, unique children with their own future callings. So when God made me He put inside me the exact gifts I would need to raise each of my individual children to be the best kingdom kids they could be. Sometimes you just have to smile when you feel subpar because in reality you are exactly who your children need you to be. God equips His missionaries specifically for the mission field where they find themselves.

I think we all know that no one is perfect, and no one is what they may appear when you look across their back yard. But what we can easily forget is that we’re the perfect mother. We’re the perfect mother for our unique children that God placed in our lives, and we are perfect because of Christ in us, who equips us specifically for the task at hand.

So when I ask, why can’t I be like that…

God answers, “because I made you like this.”


This article originally appeared at

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Brie Gowen
Brie is a thirty-something (sliding ever closer to forty-something) wife and mother. When she’s not loving on her hubby, chasing after the toddler, or playing princess with her four year old she enjoys cooking, reading, and writing down her thoughts to share with others. Brie is also a huge lover of Jesus. She finds immense joy in the peace a relationship with her Savior provides, and she might just tell you about it sometime. She'd love for you to check out her blog at