Proverbs 31:25 says,
“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.”
When we discover our worth based on God’s standards and not the world’s, we can live with a peace and a security that only comes from living in Grace. Esther lived it, even within a culture that sexualized her and sought to persecute her.
And I imagine that is exactly what most other mamas want for their daughters.
If we want to bring up our daughters as Esthers, we have to treat them like they are priceless daughters of THE KING. We have to protect them, physically, mentally, and spiritually from the lies society is whispering about where their worth comes from. And we have to do it now, starting intentionally, in our own homes and communities.
So, how do we bring up Esther in a Lady Gaga world?:
Celebrate her age. Don’t let her grow up too fast. Time goes by fast enough as it is. Do not rush the age she is in. Protect her innocence. Dress her modestly and guide her in her age appropriate learning. Read character books. Monitor the content she watches and listens to. Pay attention to who her friends are. Teach her who she is in Christ. God is growing her mind, body, and spirit in this season. Keep her there.
Value Godly character over looks. As parents we should tell our daughter she is beautiful, just as she is. Especially fathers. This is soooo important. But we also need to tell her she is talented, smart, unique, beautiful, worthy, treasured, sacred…a daughter of God that was created to do great things in His name. Encourage her to be her own kind of beautiful and to celebrate the uniqueness of others. Tell her she has value. And it isn’t because of her face or body. Her God given talents and skills are valued and needed in her community. He made her to be a light in a dark, black world. Her light shines when she is values herself and others by His love and grace. Her beauty is in how she serves.
Encourage her passions through role models. Roles models are very important. Especially in young peoples’ lives. Role models can cause impressionable young people to emulate behavior, good or bad. We need to make sure the influences in our children’s lives are rock solid. Some of our family favorites are Beth Moore, Beckah Shea, Holland, Missy Franklin, and Sadie Robertson. Guide them to people that have amazing stories. Speak of their character, but also speak of their challenges and faults and how they have overcome adversity. Find the one that coincides with your daughter’s talents and interests. Feed that passion. Help her pursue it.
Introduce her to a REAL mentor. There is power in mentorship. Women who live out what they preach. Choose a woman who will show her God’s Truths about what it means to be strong and beautiful and confident. Give her a community. But then take it a step further and be her community. If you want to raise an Esther, you, mama, need to be an Esther. Celebrate your own unique gifts and talents. Show her your faith. Model for her what it means to live a life not by the patterns of this world. Be different.
Open door policy. Open lines of communication. It is so imperative. Set standards in your communication. No condemnation. A no judgment zone. Listen while she talks. Don’t talk at her. Talk to her. She may not always agree with you. You may not always agree with her. And that’s ok. But she needs to feel she is heard. Her voice matters. Even when you don’t like what she has to say. Respect is a two way street. God has given her a voice and a journey that is unique to His plan for her. And that may involve going down a road that you don’t like.
Be intentional and involved. We have to be intentional and involved in our daughter’s lives, even when they don’t want us there. Supervise what she watches and reads. Don’t be afraid to say “NO”. And stick to it. Monitor what she wears. Don’t buy her anything that would sexualize her. Quit trying to be the cool, hype mom, and instead model modesty in your own dress and attitude. Do not buy into the “sex sells” hype. It only has power over us if we let it. You have the power to control what you listen to what you see, what you wear……understand?
Bring up your boys to be Daniels. I’m talking to all my fellow mamas of boys now….Be diligent in training your sons what a real woman is. Beauty is more than skin deep. The world says beauty is in a woman’s body. Our young men need to learn that beauty is inside as well as out. We need to raise our daughters to be Esthers. But we need to groom our boys to be Daniels. Strong. Compassionate. Gentle. God-fearing. Men who are willing to stand against society’s standards; who aren’t afraid to fight the lions on what is right and what is wrong. We need to teach tour sons to treat our daughters with the respect and dignity they deserve and that God demands. If we want to raise our girls to be Esthers, full of class and grace, we need to raise our boys to be Daniels, full of integrity and character.
Fill her with her Biblical Truth. She is valuable. She is treasured. She is amazing. She is worthy of love and grace and mercy. She is sacred. She is beloved. She is His. And she has a distinct and unique purpose in this world that only she can fill. Her beauty isn’t about how she looks, but how she lives. Is she caring? Is she kind? Is she patient? Is she faithful? True beauty is lived in humility. She isn’t perfect, and never will be, but she is perfectly broken in Christ.
Cover her in prayer. It isn’t enough that we teach our daughters to be Esthers. We have to pray them there. Esther didn’t rise from ashes to royalty on a whim. She was prayed into that position by Mordecai. She may have been born “for a time such as this.” But prayer got her there. Our daughters need the power of prayer over their lives. They need the strength of a mom on her knees, petitioning and praying power over her. We have to remember, mamas, they are our daughters. But they are His queens.
We may not be able to change society. This isn’t a new issue. It is a lie that has been used against women since the time of Esther and before.
But we can bring change to our own homes and communities. We can save our daughters, and all the other beautiful girls in our lives, by silencing the lies.
This is our battle cry, mamas.
It’s time to take back what was lost.
It’s time to fight for their innocence.
It’s time to bring up our own Esthers for “such a time as this” in this crazy, messed up Lady Gaga world.
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”
This article originally appeared at Crockpots and Fairy Tales.
