Sometimes I Forget the Days When it was Just Her

I forget, for almost five years she was my one and only girl.

I forget for five years she was my favorite girl.

Now my lap is often occupied by a baby who still needs mommy to rock her.

Now the seat next to me on movie night has to be shared by two.

Now my husband and I have to take turns tucking her in because we have two bedrooms with little girls to give kisses, hugs, and pull the blankets up snug.

Now girl’s day out looks different, we have three of us instead of two.

Now she doesn’t hear the question, “Who is mommy’s favorite,” because now there are two, now there are two girls who take equal space in mommy’s heart. Two girls who will never hear from my mouth either is more loved or more cherished than the other, two girls who are both my favorite.

For five years I was hers and she was mine.

I now see, while my heart doubled with love, she maybe feels sad that she has to share the love.

I can now see that even though she is the kindest, most attentive, most loving big sister, she still misses the time when it was just her.

I will do my best to make time for just her, so the moments in her mind when it was just us will not just be a memory from the past.


This piece originally appeared on Faithfully Falling, published with permission.

Stacey Smith
Stacey Smithhttp://
Stacey is working wife, mother, photographer, and writer. She writes about faith, marriage, and motherhood at her blog Faithfully Failing. Stacey is a cleft and infertility awareness advocate, she hopes through her writing to bring consciousness to the trials of infertility and the challenges of having a cleft child. You can find her writing featured at Her View from Home, Today Parents, the Today Show, For Every Mom, FaithIt and The Knot. She resides in the rolling hills of the south with her husband and daughters.

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