Lately, I have been feeling like I am just doing a terrible job at being a stay at home mommy. I am constantly doubting myself and questioning if what I am doing is good enough for them. A friend of mine made a harmless comment that made me feel bad about being a stay at home mom.
I was pretty mad and it caused me to doubt myself even more than I already do. I am actively involved in playdates almost every day and I try to keep the kiddies busy when we are home. But more often than I care to admit… I have a day I will now call my “NO NO NO” day, which only reaffirms how her statement made me feel.
Mason recently received a new book in the mail as part of Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library program which sends books to kids every month for free. This month’s book is about a little girl who is just having a terrible day and it’s called “My NO NO NO Day”.
She is in a bad mood and you can see the expressions on her moms face of embarrassment and frustration. In a local moms group, someone made a post about how the book was inappropriate and would be a negative influence and is not something they would want to read to their child. After seeing that dozens of moms agreed, I really thought about the way I have been feeling as a mom and realized that this book is not as negative as people think.
We all have days where we are just in a mood. Things don’t go the way we planned and we lash out. I have had many days where I snap on Mason and even my hubby for no good reason at all. I am just simply put… OVERWHELMED!! The playdates, the making of breakfast, lunch and dinner all the while having Mason following me around asking questions and Avery screaming just because he wants to be held.
It’s HARD and IT SUCKS, and it’s totally [OK] to admit that… and when it’s paired with the lack of sleep, there is no way I can walk around and be smiles and roses all the time! I constantly feel like I am going to go crazy…So how can I expect that my rambunctious toddler (who has only had 2 years to my 26 years) be good and behave all the time when I still haven’t figured out how to do so myself.
I know that half the time when I am frustrated, it’s not because the kids are being terrible, it’s because I feel like I am failing. I think to myself that my kids must be the only ones who do these things and that I am obviously doing everything wrong, but just this morning, a friend said to me, “Your feelings of failure are because you are a good mom”. I really had to sit and think about it. I realized that she was right.
It seems that I am constantly having the same conversation with so many moms who are exhausted or overwhelmed and questioning themselves everyday… but if that is you, just know that it will get better and that it doesn’t last forever.
IT DOESN’T LAST FOREVER…(I feel conflicted when I say this to myself)
The constant tantrums will not last forever but neither will the snuggly hugs when they are saying that they are sorry.
The days of cleaning up messes will not last forever, but neither will dancing around with our giggly littles while we sing the [cleanup] song.
The stinky diapers will not last forever, but neither will that amazing smell of my freshly bathe[d] little one that’s on their way to bed.
The days of whining and clinging to your leg won’t last forever but neither will the desire to give you constant cuddles.
The days of sleepless nights will not last forever…
We will all get through these tough times. We are all doing the best we can. We should stop being so critical of ourselves and what the next mom is doing. We all have our No No Days and there is nothing wrong with that as long as we work on being better!