I took Reese home and we sat in front of the full-length mirror. I showed her where her hair had been cut and we talked about the options. I said we could cut it all short, but she said absolutely not. She wants to leave it and let it grow.
Then she turned and put her arms around my neck and scooted into my lap. “Mommy, I wish this wouldn’t have happened. I love my pretty hair.”
And in that moment your mistake gave us a gift. A precious teachable moment.
I started with validation. Hair is a deeply personal part of our identity. A symbol of beauty. A source of confidence. And the hair of a five-year-old is no less important. I reassured her that it’s absolutely okay to feel sad about what happened.
But I also told her that we should be thankful because her hair will grow back. It’ll get a little longer every day and someday it will be just like it was before.
There are a lot of problems that don’t reverse themselves with the passing of time.
Then I reminded her that you didn’t do it on purpose and that you were sorry it happened. We talked about the gift of forgiveness and the power of grace.
We prayed for you that night before she went to bed. We prayed that you would know that we’re okay, and we thanked God for some of the little things we normally overlook.
The next morning, our pictures went off without a hitch, and Reese looked darling in her pigtails. She hasn’t mentioned it much since it happened. I think it’s safe to say she’s over it.
And the money I saved on her haircut? It’s going toward a donation to the refugees.
Because everyone deserves compassion.
And no act is too small.
As for me, I’m not over it. I’ll see it every time she walks past me. I’ll see it every time I brush and style her hair to hide the short ends. I’ll see it every time someone asks me what on earth happened.
I’ll never forget this.
And I’ll never forget what I learned about grace and forgiveness and the incredible power of perspective.
Thank you.
***
This post originally appeared at Lisa Hurley’s blog.
