- Try to see the world through your child’s eyes: If you are nonautistic and your child is autistic, it is highly likely that the two of you will not end up on the same page with respect to how the information the immediate environment transmits is processed and therefore how each of you responds to what goes on around you. Consequently, at least some of your child’s behaviors probably do not make any sense to you. Nonetheless, work on putting yourself in her shoes and parenting according to her reality. A difficult task to say the least, but an important one.
Nobody wins when you repeatedly try, to no avail, to get her to behave in ways that are consistent with your own experience and which you consider to be “normal”. Refrain from criticizing what in your view are awkward, aberrant behaviors and resist the temptation to redirect her away from these behaviors. Instead, create a safe, accepting environment for her in which she can behave as she does and receive love and validation rather than be judged or scolded. Allow her to be herself to the extent that she is not harming herself or others in the process. She is beautiful just the way she is!
- Seek help if you know deep down that you could use it: Doing so is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it shows that you have the courage and the strength to pursue change for the better. Help for folks on the spectrum and their parents is available from caring, intelligent professionals including clinicians, relevant school personnel, local autism resource centers (ARC’s) and numerous organizations.
The Asperger/Autism Network is one such organization that hosts support groups and provides a variety of services aimed at helping those on the spectrum live more meaningful, connected lives. Social Thinking® is a methodology that is taught by qualified clinicians which helps autistic kids develop social competencies. The College Internship Program helps young adults on the spectrum prepare for and succeed in college, gain meaningful employment and acquire independent living skills. These are but a few among many organizations that exist to assist the autism spectrum community in achieving better outcomes.
