Marriage can test us in so many ways; while it can be one of life’s greatest gifts, it can be particularly exhausting– and take a lot of work. It’s completely normal for every relationship to go through some tough times, but what some couples struggle with most is recognizing the signs of a relationship that needs serious attention. Men can be a hard species to read, so if you’re concerned that your relationship is heading downhill, here are three signs that you should look out for and what steps to take in order to move your relationship in the right direction.
3 Ways to Tell Your Husband Needs More from Your Relationship
1. No communication
Many relationships can take a turn for the worse when partners neglect to communicate with one another. Expressing your needs and wants with your partner can not only improve your relationship but also prevent struggles that can be detrimental to it. Open and honest communication is a necessity in order to avoid tension between partners and escalated arguments. It’s important you notice when your husband isn’t making an attempt to vocalize his feelings or concerns so you can make adjustments before they become harmful to your relationship.
What to do? Men aren’t always the best at expressing emotion, so you should make a point to check in with your spouse every chance you get. Never pass up an opportunity to have a conversation with your husband– engage in small talk and check in frequently on his well-being. Remember not only to actively listen to his feelings but to also express your own. Also, don’t be afraid to keep conversations light with conversation games for couples or funny stories from the past to keep spirits up.
2. Struggles with intimacy
Oftentimes, one of the most difficult indications of a tired relationship is trouble with, or lack of, intimacy. When men become uninterested or bored of their routine love life, they can lose the desire to be intimate altogether, or discover an inability to perform when intimacy takes place. Along with low libido, men might encounter issues in the bedroom like erectile dysfunction or performance anxiety, which can be both a physical and emotional burden for both you and your husband.
What to do? Solving the foundational problems with your relationship is the best way to prevent intimacy troubles and, in turn, poor experiences in the marital bedroom. Seek out help from a couple’s therapist to get to the root of what’s causing this stress in (and out) of the bedroom. If talking out your problems doesn’t relieve these issues, you can consult with a doctor to discover an affordable treatment for ED or strategies for dealing with performance anxiety to encourage enjoyable intimacy between you and your husband.
3. Lack of effort
Another detail to notice when your husband starts to check out is a lack of effort. When he makes decisions to skip out on family dinner, or cancels date night to hang out with the guys more than a couple of times, it can be a sign of a deeper issue in your relationship. The less he spends time with you, communicates, or even argues with you, the easier it can be for him to give up on your relationship and become further out of touch.
What to do? If your husband seems distant, communicate with him to find out what’s causing the disconnect or lack of interest and find opportunities for bonding. If there’s something that you and your husband do together that’s very important to you, it’s critical that you vocalize that. Surprise him with small gifts, words of affirmation, or even a simple “I love you”. Also, when planning a fun date night or much-needed private time as a couple, make sure it’s an activity you both enjoy, so it’s something he’ll never want to miss.
No couple is immune to hardships, so be understanding when it comes to your husband’s struggles, whether they’re physical or emotional. Offer your empathy, show your love and appreciation, and be there for him in any way you can.