What if you made it an ultimate goal every morning to try and respond instead of react when it comes to discipline?
How I Stopped Being a Yelling Mom
Here is a practical trick that might help you as it has helped me:
A few months ago, I read about an idea that I have been implementing in my home every day. It reminds me to respect my toddler, just as I would have him respect me.
Each morning, I wake up and put five hair ties around my left wrist.
Any time that I use a tone, word or action toward my son that I know is disrespectful or unfruitful, I move one hair tie to my right wrist.
In order to move the right hair tie back to the left side, I require myself to say or do five different kind and encouraging words or actions to counteract the unkind or disrespectful words that I spoke against my son. The goal is to have all hair ties on my left wrist by the time Sutton goes to bed.
I have had countless, frustrating days where I move all hair ties to my right wrist and even need a few more because it’s just that kind of day.
But as time has progressed, it happens less and less often because it’s a tangible reminder of how I want to treat my kids.
And even more so, it’s a reminder of how I want my kids to treat others.
It has become extremely important to me that I wait until I am ready and calm before I respond to disobedience.
I am not even close to perfect at this, but I am doing my best.
When Sutton disobeys or acts disrespectful, I go to him and get on his level. I look him in the eye, explain calmly why he is in trouble and ask if he understands.
I evaluate whether or not he was aware of my expectations of him and if those expectations had been previously discussed prior to the current situation. If the answer is yes to both, I discipline him in the way that I deem appropriate.
I then give him a kiss, squeeze him tightly in a hug and tell him how important he is to God and to me. I remind him that I correct him because I love him deeply, just as God corrects me.
“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” Prov. 31:26.
Being a mom tests my selflessness and patience more than I could have ever imagined. God corrects me through the process of motherhood, just as I correct my kids.
And similar to God’s correction, correction from parents should ultimately be helpful and not disheartening.
So, little guy, please keep calling me out in love. This momma needs growth, correction and love just as you do.
And sweet friends, when you yell or get frustrated again (because, lets be honest, it’s inevitable), ask for forgiveness and get back up and try again. Remember that you are forgiven, loved and never alone.
[I’d also like to give a little shout out to http://www.mattandtish.com for capturing these photos of our real life drama + us attempting to live these words out with our little guy, Sutton.]
With Grace,
Lindsey
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This article originally appeared at Sparrows + Lily, published with permission.
