To my friend struggling with infertility…
Oh, for heaven’s sake. All I can say is “hi there”? I had this whole letter composed in my head last night, but now that I settle to write it, I can’t think of anything more to say.
I see you.
I see you as a whole person and not just someone trying to get pregnant, as if “trying to get pregnant” is even a decent category to put someone in. Let me just tell you right off… you are certainly more than your struggles to grow your family. That’s something I know (or suspect) to be part of your life, but it’s just information about you. That’s not YOU as far as I’m concerned.
Just the same, it’s there.
You’ve told me casually that you’re trying to start a family, but that was a year ago and you’re still slim and lovely as ever, but no bump.
Or you’ve shared your heartbreak with me aloud.
Or someone else mentioned that you’re struggling with infertility.
Or I suspect it based on the way you interact with me and my kids, so maybe it’s a medical thing or maybe it’s just not time yet, which isn’t so easy, either.
Or perhaps I know nothing. And you’re just someone I know who’s hurting in this particular way and I just wander [cluelessly] through your world from time to time.