Dear Husband, Don’t Complain That Your Marriage Sucks if You’re Not Doing This for Your Wife

This is a tiny reminder to check in on your wife’s well being. Emotionally, spiritually, and physically. She might be really tired out, but not communicating with you about it very well. It’s quite possible she doesn’t even fully recognize it herself. Women tend to absorb the stress of their family members, and if not careful, they can burn out fast. Your wife might be so capable that even you expect her to handle everything with ease especially if you aren’t hearing her complain. But she can’t keep up that kind of pace. She needs you to have her back. Don’t complain about her. Don’t let her take on the world because the world isn’t always very kind. Be the buffer.

Don’t let her work her fingers to the bones trying to be everything to everybody. This makes for a very miserable wife, and when the stress starts spilling over, everyone feels her pain.

When people are under a lot of pressure, they are less kind to others. When they feel like they can’t catch their breath, they will snap at those closest to them. If you aren’t considering your wife’s needs, don’t be shocked when she isn’t acting loving towards you. There is an old saying that expresses this perfectly: hurting dogs bite. If your wife is being negative and short-tempered, she might be barely holding it all together.

I have a great picture hanging up in my kitchen of a dashing rooster and his lovely hen. The rooster is standing watch next to his mate looking very serious. Nothing is going to happen to his chicken-wife on his watch. He is on the wall. Above them are the words, “Protect what you love.”

Plain and simple. Guard the gift God gave you.

Make sure she is getting the rest she needs. Give her downtime so she can breathe and reflect. Carve out time for her to spend time with the Lord. Maybe her days are so chaotic and demanding, she can’t even hear her own thoughts anymore. Give that poor woman a break and baby her a little. If she can’t seem to cope, make the way a little easier for her. If she is screaming at you, try looking at the big picture. Maybe she is so very tired and feeling isolated. Everything is easier as a team. Are you being a teammate? Can she lean on you when she needs help? If so, BRAVO. If not, don’t complain that your marriage sucks.

Talk with her about her schedule and see if there is anything she can whittle away. Women are really good at filling every nook and cranny with things to do. They are superheroes at multi-tasking, but eventually, crash and burn. Take off her cute little cape, fold it up, and lock it away in a drawer. Tell her to slow down because you care about her and want her to enjoy some peace. She is not to save the day. She is to take a nap.

Michelle Lindsey
Michelle Lindsey
Michelle Lindsey is a Jesus-loving wife of more than 2 decades and a homeschooling mom of four who blogs about what happens when romance meets reality (with her adult daughter!) at Nitty Gritty Love. You can find more Nitty Gritty Love on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram.

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