How Even Good Parents Miss the Signs of Child Sexual Abuse

How do good parents miss child sexual abuse?  It’s simple.

By not asking the right questions.

One day my son went to a classmate’s home for a Halloween costume party.  When I picked him up a few hours later I could tell by the ear to ear grin on his face that he had a great time. As we were about to leave, I was standing at the door with his little friend’s father and grandmother.

Both adults were giving me a great report about my son’s behavior.  I was a relieved parent. Thank goodness.  No issues. No worries.

I quickly scooted my happy kid in the car and drove home.

But as I drove us home I felt uneasy.  Something was off.

Then it hit me.  I swerved into the next parking lot.  No signal.  I got a well-deserved honk from the driver behind me.

But I was distracted. I had been here before.  Except I was the child then.

Child Sexual Abuse Back in the Day

I could recall that when I was a little girl being abused by a teen relative that my mother would innocently ask me a few questions as we left a relative’s home.

“Did you behave?”  “Did you listen?”  “Were you a good girl?”


Tonya GJ Prince
Tonya GJ Prince
With over 22 years of service, Tonya GJ Prince is an expert in both domestic and sexual violence. Her specific service emphasis has been dedicated to, crisis counseling, education, centering the voices of victims and cross cultural empathy and understanding. Tonya is an author, activist, advocate, Survivor, speaker, counselor, & mentor. You can follow Tonya at her website, We Survive Abuse.

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