It’s irrational.
It’s debilitating.
And it’s real.
We live in a culture where moms are afraid to ask for the help they need. Afraid they’ll be judged. Afraid they’ll be seen as incapable of being a mother. Afraid that somehow, someday, this admission could be used against them.
No one told me about the darkness.
And y’all, we have to step it up. We have to rally around mommas when they struggle just as much as we do when they post their pregnancy announcement. We have to show up for them in the postpartum haze just as much as we do for their baby showers.
We have to talk about the darkness so that when we find ourselves there, we’ll know how to make it back to the light.
So, keep your eyes open and try not to get hung up on what you see on the surface. If someone you know seems to be struggling, offer her a hand. An encouraging word. A loving smile. Tell her she’s a great mom and that she’s doing a fantastic job. Respect her wishes and her boundaries even if they seem like an over-the-top, ultra-protective level of crazy. Sit with her in silence – no judgement – and simply just be there.
And if you’re in the thick of thick of these feelings as you read this, hold on. Remember your worth. Confide in someone, anyone, who has your back. Start talking about it and don’t feel pressured to pretend anymore. And if that doesn’t cut it, call your doctor, because there’s nothing shameful about asking for help. In fact, I would argue it makes you a better mother.
We have to change the narrative surrounding postpartum mood disorders. We have to erase the stigma that surrounds asking for help. We have to start being real about our own struggles so other people don’t feel so alone.
We have to. Lives are literally depending on it.
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This piece originally appeared at Daylight to Dark, published with permission.
