I can’t stop that. Nor do I necessarily want to if I want her to survive out there in the big, bad world.
(TERRIFYING side note: Did you know that almost one in four children will have seen pornography by the time they are ten? TEN!!)
So before she moves into a stage of life (I’m looking at you, Adolescence!) where voices other than mine and her dad’s are loudest, I need her to hear from us so we can lay a solid foundation of how the world works, based on God’s design for it.
So how did the conversation play out between us?
I started by asking her what exactly she saw and what questions she had about it. (I made sure she knew the entire text story was fictional, as well.)
She had no idea what a condom was, but she “sort-of” knew what sex was … that is was something for adults and teenagers.
Hold me, Jesus.
I cautiously dove in head first.
We discussed how sex is NOT, in fact, for teenagers, only married adults, as well as what condoms are and their purpose. This naturally led to a very matter-of-fact discussion on fertilization, babies, adulting, how sex works and all the things, due to her continued follow-up questions. (Have mercy on the questions!)
SO WHY DID I GO AHEAD AND TALK TO MY NINE-YEAR-OLD ABOUT SEX?
Why did I do it now instead of avoiding the subject or brushing it off until she’s a little older? When maybe it feels slightly more appropriate?
Because I needed — still need — her to know and understand one thing before she heard it from friends, governmentally restricted school curriculum, or the internet. (Because she will.)
God designed sex for a very distinct purpose.
A purpose that is extremely private and designed specifically for a tiny group of people — a husband, a wife, and God Himself.
I discussed why it’s private and why so many people (myself included for a long time) didn’t or still don’t understand the blessing it can bring when done in the right context.
She now understands the basics of human biology (for lack of a better word) and life, and I’m no longer nervous about what questions she may suddenly raise because it’s out in the open between us.
She knows she can talk to me about this or anything else, and it’s a safe place. A place where nobody will get in “trouble” and we can discuss the facts and allow God to lead us in our understanding of how the world works.
My nervousness about this topic is now gone.
So if you’re a mama yet to have T H E TALK … go ahead and have your dramatic, terrified and mournful moment. That’s normal.
But I’d encourage you to also let God lead you to the correct response for your child. (Also — don’t make it weird. Practice your poker face now.) Because there’s freedom on the other side of our anxiousness.
I’m willing to bet your kiddo will respect and appreciate you more than you know, opening up an entire[ly] new world of open communication leading into our next stage of motherhood.
