In an era where communication is often dominated by digital screens and fleeting messages, one mother-daughter duo has turned to a more intimate and enduring method: a shared diary. Kristin Hallett, a mom from Calgary in Alberta, Canada, has adopted a unique and heartwarming tradition with her 6-year-old daughter that has deepened their bond and fostered open, honest communication. This simple yet profound practice involves writing to each other in a communal journal, which they then slip under each other’s pillows to read and respond to.
Hallett, a writer and speaker specializing in grief, was inspired by another mother-daughter pair who had “exquisite” communication skills thanks to their own joint diary. She saw the potential in this practice to create a special bond with her daughter and decided to implement it in her own family. The result has been transformative.
The Tradition of the Shared Diary
The concept is simple: mother and daughter use the diary to share confessions, deep feelings, and everyday thoughts that might be tricky to say aloud. They never discuss the entries out loud, which builds a quiet trust and respect for the written word. “There is a level of autonomy and sovereignty in whatever she writes, which is magical,” Hallett says.
Hallett often writes phonetically to ensure her messages are clear to her young daughter, and the practice of journaling helps her compose calm and organized responses. This method of communication not only strengthens their bond but also serves as a repair technique when trust breaks between them.
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Benefits of the Diary
Hallett’s 6-year-old daughter’s entries are sporadic and simplistic, but she sees it as good practice for the teenage years. The diary has become a routine, creating a safe space for both to express their feelings. “I feel so lucky because I’ll get pictures and ‘I love you’ messages,” Hallett shares. She also hopes to start the same tradition with her 5-year-old daughter.
Hallett notes that the diary is particularly beneficial for children who don’t open up easily and for siblings with different communication styles. Her younger daughter is more expressive, while her eldest tends to internalize more. The diary provides a balanced platform for both to communicate in their own ways.
Positive Reception and Broader Implications
Hallett’s shared diary idea has resonated with many on social media. Comments on her Instagram post reveal that others have found similar practices to be transformative. One user shared how finding journals her mother wrote after she passed away was an incredibly moving experience. Another, a retired kindergarten teacher, mentioned recommending journaling to parents to help their children learn to write and read for a purpose.
“Love this!!! The type of nurturing, listening, and acceptance I longed for from my mother,” another wrote. “A great reason to overcome my resistance to writing in a journal too. Will do this for all my children!”
Kristin Hallett’s approach has not only enriched her own family’s communication but has also inspired others to adopt this practice. One Instagram comment reads, “Love this!!! The type of nurturing, listening, and acceptance I longed for from my mother. A great reason to overcome my resistance to writing in a journal too. Will do this for all my children!”
