Once I’ve admitted to myself that I have a sin problem, not just a circumstance problem, I confess. Sometimes I drag myself to the throne of grace, hemming and hawing, but I come. I pour it all out. I tell Jesus that I’m frustrated about my circumstances, and that I know my heart is the bigger problem. I tell Him I’m tired and weary of the world and how it never seems to go right. I tell Him I’m ashamed by my own lack of progress and faith in His providence in my life. I beg Him to change me and to make me more like Jesus (which I recognize will involve many more days like this one, heating up the fire so that He can pour off the dross). As I confess, His word reminds me that He knows, He understands, and He taught us, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33)
Accept it
As I confess, I’m also admitting my continual need of grace. I want to be better than a needy beggar always coming back for more. My discouragement over my lack of progress is mixed with my dismay that I still need grace. As I begin to accept that this process of confession and repentance is all part of a daily walk with God, my spirits begin to lift. Of course I still need Jesus! I know that, but now I’m forced to experience my deep thirst for the living waters only He can provide. It’s Him strengthening me that allows me to abound. Not me being strong enough to no longer need Him. I must accept that this will be a life long pursuit: His grace chasing me down, showing me my sin, and rescuing me time and time again.
Receive it
As confession works on my soul, grace works its effect on my heart. Rather than complain about my day, I repent and receive it. I believe that joy is possible, not because circumstances are ideal, but because God is Lord over all of my circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:16 – 18).
The bedrock of our rejoicing isn’t the goodness of our day, but the goodness of our God. He promises in all things (the good, the bad, and the ugly) to be working for our good. He promises to make me holy, and often His best tools are the very ones that chip away at my self-reliance. Oh, the humility that is wrought when I realize that I need Him for so much more than the tragedies of life! I need Him each and every moment; for every thought I think and for every step I take.
These meditations open my heart to receive and rejoice in my day, thanking Him in all things. The spiral downward ceases as he plucks me from the miry bog. My heart rejoices:
I waited patiently for the LORD;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the LORD. – Psalms 40:1-3
This article originally appeared at The Gospel Coalition.
