Before I Had You, I Didn’t Know

I didn't know

Before I had you, I didn’t know.

I didn’t know that the first time I held you—and every time after that—a piece of my heart would settle into place.

I didn’t know answering “yes” to the question “are you mom?” would always be one of my greatest privileges.

I didn’t know you would almost always be ready for a new season before I was and that if only one of us was going to be ready, I’d be glad it was you.

I didn’t know watching any of your dreams come true would be a dream come true for me, too.

I didn’t know that seeing the words “Love you, mama” on my phone would be a gift, every time.

I didn’t know that the first time I got into a car you were driving, I’d wonder how you could possibly know what you were doing since “just yesterday,” I was buckling you into a car seat.

I didn’t know that waking up on any morning you were coming home would be better than being a kid and waking up and remembering it was Christmas.

I didn’t know that part of my heart would always be where you are.

Before I had you, I didn’t know love could have a name I chose.

But now I know, because I have you, and that name is yours.

***

This post originally appeared at Guilty Chocoholic Mama, published with permission.


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Elizabeth Spencer
Elizabeth Spencer is mom to two daughters (one teen and one young adult) who regularly dispense love, affection, and brutally honest fashion advice. She writes about faith, food, and family (with some occasional funny thrown in) at Guilty Chocoholic Mama  and avoids working on her 100-year-old farmhouse by spending time on Facebook and Twitter.