Bringing up Daniel in a Justin Bieber world is not for the faint of heart.
But we can no longer sit idly by and let our sons minds and souls be perverted through their eyes….
The first time I saw my oldest son, I fell in love with him. He was perfect. Ten little fingers. Ten little toes. Long, chicken legs, just like his dad. And these big, bright blue eyes that I knew were going to break hearts one day. As my daughter held him gently in her two year old arms, I thought “If only he could stay this little forever.”
But he can’t.
And he didn’t.
He is now a goofy ten year old boy who is growing into a strong, capable man.
And my mama heart hurts for him.
Because, while I understand the struggles my daughters will have growing up in a sexually charged, Lady Gaga world, I know that the trials and tribulations that my three sons will face in this Justin Bieber world will be just as great. And maybe even more challenging.
Once upon a time sexy was not so visible. Once upon a time modesty was celebrated and embraced. Once upon a time male role models were men of integrity, character, and honor.
But that once upon a time is over.
We have failed our daughters because we have let their innocence be stripped away like clothing. But we have failed our sons because we have let that message be ok.
Last fall, around Thanksgiving, my two oldest sons and I were watching a Thanksgiving special on prime time TV. We don’t watch live television very often. But it was a holiday special, during early evening hours, so I thought it would be safe. I should have know in this Justin Bieber world.
That was my first mistake.
About half way through the show, during an ad break, a commercial came on for a national fast food chain. The commercial was titled “3 Way Fantasy” and included back music about having a threesome. It opened with a back shot of two models in revealing white bikinis walking slowly toward a third model holding cooking utensils. Quick shot after quick shot showed the models chopping and cooking bacon while gyrating their hips slowly toward the camera and each other, as the song sang “She’s giving her some, she’s giving me some.” The models then provocatively fed each other the bacon and dripped BBQ sauce into each other’s mouths as they posed in sexually suggestive poses. The sexual innuendos were strong; not even close to subtle. It was supposed to be a 30 second commercial for a new bacon hamburger but you didn’t even see the hamburger until the very last clips.
I just sat there, shocked, unable to react.
That was my second mistake.
The commercial was over before I could change the channel. I got an eye full.
And so did my sons.
My oldest son looked at me, wide-eyed, and exclaimed, “Mom, those girls were in their underwear on TV! But there’s like a hundred people watching them! What does underwear have to do with hamburgers?”
Exactly.
It was such an innocent observation but my mama heart wept.
Then it got angry.
At our media. At our entertainment industry. At our society.
This was prime time television! And a holiday special! It was supposed to be safe for children! And yet this company and this television station thought this overt message of sex was not only acceptable but normal. And deemed it appropriate for family viewing times.
The message of sex has become so normal, in fact, that it knows no time slot, no movie rating, no radio station, no sporting event, and no television channel it can’t scream from. During the Super Bowl, you are just as likely to see a commercial with bouncing, bikini clad women as you are a commercial with drooling, diaper clad babies. Not to mention the debauchary on the halftime shows. Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, JayZ, Beyonce and who else knows what…..
It’s on the radio in lyrics such as, “Girl, I love it when your body grinds on me….Strip that down for me”, “ I know you wanna see me nakey, nakey, naked”, and “I showed her then she showed me, right there, right there in the backseat.” Male entertainers in their videos and concerts, (like Justin Bieber) and many others, feature barely dressed girls twerking, grinding, and crawling around like wild animals. And it doesn’t matter the genre. Country. Pop. Rock. To be a female in any music video these days is to be objectified to nothing more than a show piece, something to be possessed, or a conquest to be taken.
It’s at every sporting event, in every checkout line, and lining every highway.
Even female entertainers contribute to this normalizing of sexy by promoting sex like it is simply something to be given away. They dress with very little modesty and a lot of skin. The lyrics they sing are almost raunchier than their male counterparts. And it is all portrayed as a celebration of a woman just being in control of her own body.
Everywhere you look it is sex, sex, SEX.
There isn’t a part of our society that sexy isn’t used to persuade or manipulate. There is no escaping the message that sex sells and they are selling it to our sons. “Role models”, such as Justin Bieber, Florida Georgia Line, and Jay Z, teach our boys that sex is simply something used to gain power or influence, or at the very least, used to control someone else, and that women are worth nothing more than a pretty face, a sexy body, and a good time. And all of this is feeding our boys a false sense of what real beauty is, what real love is, and what real sex is.
They are feeding their eyes lies and filling their minds with trash.
And that should make all of us mad to the core.
But honestly, the ones we should be the most mad at is ourselves, the parents of these young, impressionable boys.
Why?
Because we have let it happen.
We have focused for so long (for good reason) on the sexualization of our daughters, calling them victims (which they very much are). But what we have ignored for far too long is that our sons are just as much victims as our daughters. Sex used to be a taboo subject but now it dances, sings, and parades through their lives as acceptable, leaving a trail of temptation and lust behind it.
And instead of fighting it, we tell our boys to look away.
I’m sorry, mamas, but that is not enough anymore!
We can’t allow our girls to dress provocatively as eye candy and expect our sons to simply “bounce their eyes.”
We can’t allow the entertainment industry to produce song after song, movie after movie, and show after show celebrating and condoning sex and sexy, and expect our sons to simply stay pure.
We can’t allow this sex obsessed world to define for our sons what they should be thinking about- sex, girls, and money- and then expect them to think of what is pure, righteous, and holy.
We can’t expect our boys to be men that respect and honor women if all we are feeding them is images of women looking more like a possession than a human being.
We have to stand against it, mamas! We have to say enough is enough!
Our boys need to be taught how to fight and win against this sex obsessed culture. Because heaven knows, the media and most of their role models aren’t going to teach them. If we don’t address these issues, the world will. And our sons (and our daughters) will suffer for it.
We have to bring up our boys to be men of integrity and character.
