‘Am I Invisible?’ – One Mom’s Pain Relieving Response to Being Excluded

No one likes to feel left out or excluded, and as much as we like to think such meanness is left behind us in the halls of junior high, the truth is, cattiness and cruelty follows many of us into adulthood through the behavior of others. I hate to throw my fellow moms under the bus, but let’s be honest: some “mean girls” grow up, have kids, and go on to be mean moms, excluding other moms from their cliques, as popular blogger and author Rachel Macy Stafford recently found out.

Stafford, known as the”Hands Free Mama” perfectly captured this sad occurrence with mean moms and shared it with her readers.

Her profound words bear repeating.

In a post on her Facebook page that she later shared with TODAY parents, Stafford describes a painful experience she had while taking her daughter to the first day of a new extracurricular activity:

My fifth-grade daughter started a new extracurricular activity a few weeks ago. We’re still learning the ropes and aren’t quite sure how things run. On the first day, we walked up to two women who were waiting with their children for the activity to start. I politely asked them a question about protocol and explained we were new.

I was met with annoyed facial expressions and curt answers.

Following that response with an introduction seemed inappropriate so I turned to their children and introduced myself and my daughter to them. We talked with the children until the class began. The following week, I saw the women again in the waiting area.

“Hello,” I said warmly. “How are you both doing today?” I received mumbled replies and they immediately turned back to each other and continued talking. My daughter and I talked to each other which relieved the painful sense of feeling invisible.

When they went back to the activity for the third week, Rachel Macy Stafford again saw the two women, but this time, could not bring herself to speak to the mean moms. She says she “felt a twinge of something I couldn’t explain” in her stomach and she just could not bring herself to face the rejection again. But then, as she stood there talking to her daughter, she experienced a revelation of sorts. She turned to her daughter and said, “Remember this.” She goes on:

Remember this when you are in familiar territory and someone new walks up looking for guidance.

Remember this when you see someone on the outskirts anxiously holding her own hand.

Remember this when someone approaches you and asks a question – see the bravery behind the words.

Remember this when you see someone stop trying – perhaps he’s been rejected one too many times.

Jenny Rapson
Jenny Rapson
Jenny is a follower of Christ, a wife and mom of three from Ohio and a freelance writer and editor.

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