Hello, you have reached the Help Line for Teens and Tweens Whose Parents Are Literally the Worst.
Please listen to the following prompts and choose the option which best suits your current parent-induced angst or rage:
If a parent entered your room without knocking, please press the 😡 emoji. Also, why don’t they know you NEED YOUR PRIVACY?
If a parent asked you to do your daily chore, please press the 🙄 emoji. While it’s true that you literally only have ONE job, don’t they know you were RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A SERIOUS MINECRAFT BUILD? GAH!
If you literally cannot even right now, just take a deep breath and press the 🙀emoji. I mean, UGH, right????
If a parent has read your text messages, press the 😤 emoji because you are SO MAD RIGHT NOW. How could the person who paid for your phone and your phone service even BEGIN to think that what YOU do with it would be any of their business?? Like WTH????
If a parent used an app to limit your screen time or filter your internet, press the 🔌 emoji. What do they expect you to do now, READ A BOOK?
If a parent has suggested you GO OUTSIDE, EWW, press the ☀️emoji. And also, they didn’t even tell you to put on sunscreen. Are they trying to KILL YOU?
If a parent has told you to eat your vegetables, press the 😵 emoji. Then, stand by to write down the number for poison control.
If a parent has suggested you shower or bathe, act REALLY offended, and then press the 🛀 emoji. RUDE. You just showered like 4 days ago. They’re CLEARLY just trying to get rid of you for awhile.