The point to all this is that the older I get, the easier I find it to hide. Behind busyness, behind kids, behind ministries and careers. But also, the older I get, the more tired I am of hiding.
I’m exhausted.
What about you?
Are you tired…weary to the bone…of keeping up pretenses and being devastated when you can’t?
Do you want to have that kind of wisdom that brings freedom?
I know I do. And if you feel the same, I want to share the steps I have been taking in owning my sin, exposing my sin, and moving forward in the lavishness of God’s grace for my life.
I’m learning the value in having people. I have people. I have a couple of women, plus Bret in some places, that my heart is distributed amongst, and the sum total of my people is they get it all. ALL. And it’s new to me. This kind of exposure. Recently, I’ve given words to some long held shame and sin to one of my people. It was hard. It was humbling. We prayed and I repented. It was so blessed. Bless-ed.
Backpack went to the ground.
And in its place was freedom. Not the sense of doom or shame I had feared in exposure. Along with the freedom was a plan. And real accountability.
You see, we fool ourselves into thinking that confession is repentance. As women, I see us do it so flippantly. If I just casually throw out there that I have been blowing our budget, there isn’t really a chance to ask the hard questions. Am I struggling with stuff? With greed? Coveting?
So I would argue confession is a step in the process. The next step is change. Freakin’ stop what you are doing. We want to sugar coat it and over complicate it, but that is what repentance is. I can assure you that stopping is completely contingent on the humility to ask the Lord to help. And then to actually listen to that little voice pointing out your error. The Bible calls that His very own Spirit.
The next hard part is the keeping on stopping.
Note that I’m not trying to diminish our very real, intense struggles with sin. I know that for many of us, it is actually very complicated and sometimes deep and painful, but again, I am one hundred percent sure that repentance brings freedom one hundred percent of the time. It might not always be instant or perfect or without failure on our part. But I trust God and he promises life after repentance.
Do you want this? Are you carrying a backpack that is too heavy? Do your shoulders hurt? Is your bag strained? What about the seams…are they tearing?
If so, I’m begging you to find your people. Confess, for real. Repent for real. Ask God for forgiveness. And then ask him for help. It’s not trite. It’s not religious speak. It’s freedom.
It’s wise. And yes it’s hard. And oh so good.
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This article originally appeared at MadeFrank.com.
