I Have Been Taking My 2020 Rage Out on My Kids and That Ends Now

“How did I get here again?” You find yourself wondering. You feel an unpleasant wave swirled with regret, guilt, shame, and sadness. You promised yourself that you wouldn’t lose your cool again today.

You may know the drill by now. Wake, Eat, Work, Care, Yell, Cry. Repeat. Or some version of that.

There is such a wide range of events and circumstances that have transformed your year into the real life equivalent of a tough mudder. You have wondered how running a marathon through mud piles while dodging boulders and climbing up ropes could be enjoyable. Every day feels like one of those races and you still don’t understand why people pay to participate.

Some of the daily obstacles are more trivial than others. While it can be very beneficial to practice gratitude for all that you do have, it is okay to feel frustration and anger at all the missing pieces of your life.

You were used to getting through those threenager mood swings by coordinating play dates and museum or park outings. They made the days enjoyable and you needed them more for your own mental health than anything else. Blessings to every parent that has experienced their role as parent forced to collide with that of a teacher.

Your life is now limited in ways that you never could have predicted. You mourn for the days that you could call up a grandparent to stop by so you could run and errand or complete some work around the house. You miss that recharging time for yourself but not nearly as much as you miss that person and their support.

Some days feel more manageable than others. When the sun is shining, you can count on less tears from you and your kids. Other days, the focus is just surviving through the day until bedtime. Some days, like when your older child wakes up the baby or your child refuses to log-in for their math class yet again, it feels soul crushing.

Rather than your morning routine beginning with coffee, lately it starts with a cold drink of shame. Often, you feel a tinge (or more) of guilt regarding something that occurred the day before, usually relating to your patience or lack thereof. The taste is awful.

You are ready to commit to leaving the 2020 rage where it belongs as just another 2020 blemish. Remember that your children will remember all the love you have shown to them. They remember the love they received as you pushed yourself through each day. You know that committing to changing and stopping the cycle is the best you can do for yourself and your children.

Along with other techniques to cool down, before the flip-out occurs (such as counting to 15, walking away, practicing breathing exercises) try repeating:

I feel frustrated.

I feel overwhelmed.

I feel sad.

It is okay to feel these things.

I accept all of my feelings.

I accept myself.

This won’t last forever.

I do the best that I can.

I breathe.

I can walk away.

I do the best that I can.

I accept myself.

I move forward.

I breathe.


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Kendra Fogarty
Kendra Fogarty is a school counselor whose greatest accomplishment in life has been raising a Gemini. Her soul is fueled anytime she gets lost in the woods, nails a dessert recipe, or makes one of her students smile. She is also an aspiring creator and copywriter and is learning the true meaning of perseverance along the way.