I Left The Hospital With a Box Instead of My Baby

We left the hospital with a box.

I went into the hospital when I was 28 weeks pregnant. I was there for monitoring and bedrest. I was there to deliver my baby. She would most likely be early, but I was assured she would be fine.

At 30 weeks pregnant, I found out she was gone. They told me there was no more heartbeat. She was dead–stillborn. So, after my baby left forever they gave me a box. A white box with a green bow containing a few of her belongings.

It wasn’t supposed to be that way.

We were supposed to leave with a baby–a living, breathing, adorable baby. A baby to take home and love and raise. One that we would watch grow up into a toddler and a child and a teenager.

But we left with a box.


Rachel Whalen
Rachel Whalen
Rachel Whalen is a writer and Kindergarten teacher who lives in Vermont. She is the mother of two daughters; 2-year-old Frances and Dorothy who was stillborn in 2016. Since Dorothy's death, Rachel has used her writing to advocate for others who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss. Her writing has been widely shared by Still Standing magazine, Pregnancy After Loss Support, the Today Show, and Her View From Home. In sharing her story, Rachel hopes that she can let others know they are not alone in their heartbreak and their love for their child. Connect with Rachel on Facebook, and see more of her writing on her blog.

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