Life as a parent is hard, no matter how you slice it, but it gets to a point where you’re tired of trying to keep your head above water.
I’m not sure when in this world we stopped living the dream and instead started measuring it against some societal standard of perfection parenting.
We think if we walk the walk, dress our kids in the right clothes, send them to the right schools, or have them on the perfect sports team then things will get better. We’ll still be rushing, but we’ll have a trophy and picture to share on Facebook, so it will be worth it, right? Turns out the short-lived “like” isn’t all it was cracked up to be. We lose sight of satisfaction in the everyday mundane, and joy over the little things is overshadowed by this made-up responsibility we place on ourselves. We run and run, and run. For what? We’re stressed out in a time when our life should be the fullest. Our hearts and home should be full of peace and love, not anxiety and self-expectation.
I’m, as always, a work in progress, but I am headed in the right direction. I’m getting there by doing less. In this world we think the more we do the better things will be. The harder we work, the easier it will get. The more we put into a project, and the better it turns out, the happier we will be. I call this Pinterest Syndrome. It seems, though, that most of us normal folks just end up feeling The Pinterest Fail instead (#momfail). I hate that term.
So I decided something had to give, and it turned out it was me giving up a lot. Giving up the false idea of what mattered in life. It wasn’t more stuff, more name brands, or a bigger house. It wasn’t a bigger name for myself. It wasn’t more success for my children in multiple activities. It wasn’t what my small town thought, my small group thought, or my own small mind thought. It was what the Lord wanted for our family. Isn’t that the most important part? How do we all so easily miss that? I’m asking myself too, you understand.
If it’s the memories that make our children the adults they will become then that’s what I want to focus on. I want to focus on family, time together, and God’s will for our life. I want to be calm in the carrying out of motherhood and not be rushing to make memories happen (like we all tend to do). I just want them to happen, and then I want to be present enough that I can enjoy them too. They notice that, you know. They notice genuine smiles from mom and dad, they notice when you listen, for real listen, and they notice when you take pleasure in them. It’s so easy to get distracted from enjoying your family by the demands of life. But if my daughters remember anything from their childhood, I want them to remember that I enjoyed it too. I want them to know they can enjoy life to the fullest as they grow older, even when life is full.
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This article originally appeared at BrieGowen.com.
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