Thankfully, With God There Is A “Rest of the Story”
Praying for both the humility to apologize and the resilience to not back down, I entered my son’s room and sat next to him on his bed. He lay on his bottom bunk, arms crossed, jaw set, eyes steeled. It was like perching next to a block of concrete.
“I am sorry I yelled,” I offered without equivocation. I suddenly felt the need to justify my actions. I would not have yelled if he had not pushed me over the edge, so really it was not all my fault, it was his as well……. No. I would not add anything to my apology.
“Okay,” he barked.
He wasn’t giving an inch. Of course not. He is a very strong willed child. His entire personality never gives an inch.
“Have you worked on that verse yet?” I asked. His Bible lay closed beside him, obviously not cracked open since he got here.
“No,” he seethed.
Please help me Lord to be lovingly consistent. Help me to not yield on truth. But also give me tenderness to reach his heart.
“Scootch over and I will help you.” My concrete-block-of-a-son moved just a a smidge- enough to have moved, but not enough to let me in (strong-willed kids are GREAT at “disobedience-obedience.”) I lay down next to him, half on and half off the bed.
Resisting the urge to sermonize about the verse, I decided to let the Spirit have full reign with the inspired Word of God. I just read it, bit by bit, out loud, and he repeated the words.
““Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” ”
— Ephesians 4:29, (NASB)
Convicted by the words I had led him through, I sincerely apologized, “I am sorry I let my frustration take over. There were lots of unwholesome words out of my mouth that didn’t give you grace. Please forgive me.”
He forgave me and returned the apology.
“Son, you have a stubborn spirit. That is not all bad. God needs stubborn people who will stand for Him and who will not be afraid to speak. But without Jesus your stubbornness will be selfish and your words will be hurtful. Do you want your words to build people or tear them down?
“Build them,” he whispered.
“Yeah, me too. I want to build you up. God wants to help us do that. May I pray for you?”
With his nod, I began praying, and God revealed to me new ways to pray for my son’s heart. The idea was not that he would not be such a stubborn strong willed child (yes, I had been asking the Lord for that), rather I needed to be asking God to channel that stubbornness for His purposes. God created, formed, and programmed this young man correctly. Though sin corrupted the design, it still wasn’t mistaken. It just needed constant training.
