6. Parents view themselves as protectors, rather than guides.
Somewhere along the line, many parents began believing their role is to help kids grow up with as few emotional and physical scars as possible. They became so overprotective that their kids never practiced dealing with challenges on their own. Consequently, these kids grew up to believe they’re too fragile to cope with the realities of life.
7. Adults don’t know to help kids face their fears the right way.
On one end of the spectrum, you’ll find parents who push their kids too hard. They force their children to do things that terrify them. On the other end of the spectrum, you’ll find parents who don’t push their kids at all. They let their kids opt out of anything that sounds anxiety-provoking.
Exposure is the best way to conquer fear but only when it’s done incrementally. Without practice, gentle nudging, and guidance, kids never gain confidence that they can face their fears head-on.
8. Parents are parenting out of guilt and fear.
Parenting stirs up uncomfortable emotions, like guilt and fear. But rather than let themselves feel those emotions, many parents are changing their parenting habits. They don’t let their kids out of their sight because it stirs up their anxiety. Or, they feel so guilty saying no to their kids that they back down and give in. Consequently, they taught their kids that uncomfortable emotions are intolerable.
9. Kids aren’t being given enough free time to play.
While organized sports and clubs play an important role in kids’ lives, adults make and enforce the rules. Unstructured play teaches kids vital skills, like how to manage disagreements without an adult refereeing. And solitary play teaches kids how to be alone with their thoughts and how to be comfortable in their own skin.
10. Family hierarchies are out of whack.
Although kids give off the impression they’d like to be in charge, deep down they know they aren’t capable of making good decisions. They want their parents to be leaders—even when there is dissension in the ranks. And when the hierarchy gets muddled—or even flipped upside down—kids’ anxiety skyrockets.
How to Address the Anxiety Epidemic
We’ve created an environment that fosters anxiety, rather than resilience in young people. And while you can’t prevent all anxiety disorders—there’s definitely a genetic component—we can do a better job of helping kids build the mental muscle they need to stay healthy.
