The following year, I was a senior captain and starter. After the best athletic season I have ever participated in, my team made it to the first state tournament since the 1960s. I was again an All-Conference selection, and was invited to play at the Iowa All-Star Basketball game in Cedar Rapids. My senior year laid the foundation for a 2010 team that would win its first state title.
What would have happened if my parents sent Coach P an email demanding to know why I wasn’t playing? What would have happened if they let me quit without having a conversation with him? My parents have taught me more things than I could ever count, but one of the most important things was to fight my own battles, and never give up.
They could have bad mouthed my coach in the stands, wrote terrible things about him on social media, or encouraged me to quit. I know this because as a coach, I get a lot of this every single season. I have even had parents take a picture of me, and post it on facebook with some very nasty comments. I have also had to ask my parents to escort me out of one of my games, because I had parents waiting to confront me in the lobby. However, my parents didn’t make this about themselves; they made it about the relationship between my coach and me.
To this day, Coach P has been one of the most impacting people in my life. Finding the courage to approach him, and having the ability to trust his honesty led me down one of the greatest paths in high school. Now as a high school coach myself, basketball continues to be one of the biggest pieces of my life.
I urge all parents to encourage your children to fight their own battles. Have your kids come talk to me, but also make sure they are open to my honesty. I am not going to tell your child she deserves to play if she doesn’t. Coach P did not lie to me. He told me I wasn’t good enough to play yet, and I accepted that. In fact, I felt that he respected me enough to be honest with me. It motivated me, and I worked harder, until it paid off.
This article originally appeared here, published with permission.
