A Letter to My Future Daughter-in-Law: He Won’t Complete You

Someone recently asked me what kind of men I hope my sons grow up to be. I think about this every day. Even though I look at my sons and see my babies, I’m not raising babies. I am raising men. Men who some day will hopefully become fathers and husbands to a daughter in law. Some of the most important roles in existence. It’s my job as their mother to raise them with the skills necessary to go out into the world and fulfill those roles well. Each and every day I am gifted with these boys, I am committed to that responsibility.

So …

To my future daughter in law,

I have a few things I want to say to you. This can’t possibly cover it all, but luckily, we have some time.

I don’t know you yet, but already, I love you. I love you so much, because some day, you will love my son. And he will return that love.

There will come a day that this sticky, messy, silly little boy will be yours. He will always be mine, but you will take my place in many ways.

Someday your hand will replace mine. Your eyes will be his peace and your heart will be his home.

It’ll be you he kisses goodnight.

It’ll be you he shares his dreams with.

It’ll be you who comforts him when he is scared.

It’ll be you who holds his heart. The same heart that beats against my chest as I hold him each night.

Someday, darling daughter in law, that will be you.

I always thought I would have a daughter. Now I know that’s you. I want you to know I pray for you every day, just as I pray for my sons.

Right now, you’re everything to your own parents, just as my sons are everything to me. I pray you are cherished. Delighted in. Upheld and believed in. I pray you are being taught to love yourself first, because without that strong love, you will not be as equipped to love others successfully. I pray you are shown every day what a gift you are. I pray that if that message is somehow missed by those around you, you always know that when God looks at you, He sees His princess.

I am raising my son to view you that same way.

I pray you understand your worth and that you respect yourself. That you are being shown to respect others just the same. I pray that you are not afraid to share your voice, but that you use it to speak life; not only to yourself and others you encounter, but to my son. Men need you to speak life into them.

Rachael Boley
Rachael Boley
Rachael is a 29 year old single mom of 3 little nuggets-identical twin 2 1/2 year olds and a 14 month old. She works full time as an Oncology Social Worker, and in her "spare time," she wrestles, snuggles, and loves on her three boys. She moonlights as a blogger and writer, and spends her days learning to enjoy this crazy, messy beautiful life of single motherhood. Follow her on her blog Three Boys and a Mom and on her Facebook page , and read more of her writings at Divorced Moms.

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