Sometimes, My Anxiety Causes Me to Trip Over My Own Two Feet

Photo courtesy of Elizabeth Spenner

Sometimes, my anxiety causes me to trip over my own two feet.

My mind gets so ahead of the rest of my body, that I fall/stagger over my worries and fears, trying to stay a million miles ahead of them.

Building unnecessary bridges.

Allowing my thoughts to “go there.”

Letting my fears to trump my faith.

And so I begin to stumble.

Staggering forward, while falling behind.

Mind set in a closed-circuit of “what-ifs” and endless possibilities.

A few mornings ago, stomach in knots on the way to the hospital for a very early-morning yearly check-up, I fumbled my way out of my van and into the dark rain, only to trip over my own shoelaces. Trying not to drop my bag, ID, pen, mask, etc., I stuffed it all away and addressed the problem…my untied shoelace.

An untied shoelace.

So seemingly insignificant.

Yet, it wasn’t.

The entire 35-minute ride, I prayed.

I prayed for peace.

I prayed for comfort.

I prayed for a calm heart and mind.

And, I prayed for God to keep me in stride with Him.

His plans.

His purposes.

His outcomes.

But, just like my anxiety, I got so far ahead of Him–running straight into my greatest fears–that I needed a subtle reminder to slow back down.

His pace.

His agenda.

His blueprints.

To walk side-by-side with Him, once again.

An untied shoelace.

Such a simple reminder.

Resetting me once again with Him.

I still have days. A lot of them.

These days I think my pace is best.

Sometimes, the things that trip us up the most are actually God’s way of slowing us back down to stay in stride with Him.

These days where the nonstop game of tug-o-war knocks me to my knees in tears and incessant worry. But instead of continuously running ahead to my greatest fears and unnecessary bridges, I am learning–day-by-day–to look for ways to reset with Him and in Him–and to use those moments to cry out to the One Who will forever hold the key to life’s shackles.

The One Who can toss mountains into the sea and command lions to sleep.

The One Who will always-and-forever chase after, and wait for, me.

My Father.

Your Father.

Our Father.

The One Who will forever whisper,

“My Dear Child, always remember:

…one breath at a time…

…one moment at a time…

…one step at a time…

…one prayer at a time…

to stay in-stride with Me.

For I know your plans.

I hold your hope.

I promise your future.”

(Jeremiah 29:11)

***

This piece originally appeared at Gracefully Woven by Elizabeth Spenner, published with permission. 


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Elizabeth Spenner
Elizabeth Spenner is a former elementary teacher and now a stay-at-home mama to six little ones. She writes as a faithful inspiration to other women, and most especially mothers, on her blog, at www.gracefullywoven.net Liz loves spending with her family, outside as often as possible, as well as sneaking a few moments to herself with a run or her stash of dark chocolate.