The Night I Thought My Husband and Kids Were Better Off Without Me

After my dark night on the floor, I awoke the next morning battered and bruised from the inside out. God somehow lured me into Church, and the first person I saw was my Deacon friend, who may as well have been Jesus himself. I fell into his arms and sobbed, unable to speak much beyond sharing my desperate state of mind. He wrote down the name and number of his friend, a Christian counselor, and encouraged me to make an appointment. I agreed, which proved to be a defining and life-saving moment in my life.

I have a tender space inside for all who suffer abuse & struggle with mental health. I understand the depth of pain and stigma that so often goes along with this kind of suffering. This is why I’m proud to support the To Write Love on Her Arms @twloha movement. Today is World Suicide Prevention Day, and I want you to know that this world is BETTER WITH YOU IN IT!

Shelby Spear
Shelby Spear
Shelby is a sappy soul whisperer, sarcasm aficionado, and pro-LOVE, Jesus adoring mom of 3 Millennials writing stuff & doing life with her hubby of 25 years. You can read her stories on her blog at, around the web, and in print at Guideposts. Shelby's new book, co-authored with Lisa Leshaw, is now available: How Are You Feeling, Momma? (You don't need to say, "I'm fine.")

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