5. Sometimes he forgets what it’s like to be at home with kids. Sometimes he says, “If you would just look at our two year old, and raise your one eyebrow at her like I do, then she would listen and you wouldn’t want to bash your head against the wall.” But then he stays home instead of me, and after he needs to go into the mountains for four hours, and so he knows.
6. Sometimes I forget to ask him how his day was. I forget that he just worked 12 hours, and all I care about is that he changes the diaper, and that he casts a magic spell on the chaos to make it STOP. But then I remember and I make gin and tonics and his favorite burritos, and we high five because we each survived this day #likeaboss .
7. It’s good to let things go. Sometimes we have to change our minds about things, like how he decided to think it’s cute that I lose everything and that I never have my own socks, so I borrow his. He decided to think it’s cute instead of annoying, and that was nice of him. I decided to like shows about cars and pawn shops, especially if it involves my back being rubbed.
8. We have friends besides each other. We have other people too. He has poker nights and bro-trips and I have the best-besties a girl could ask for. People we do life with and are absolutely real with. We are big on being authentic and if we’re struggling we talk about it. We need community to be healthy.
9. We still adventure. We love adventure. We still have theme parties and go out dancing. We sold our house so we could go to Costa Rica and take our kids across the country in a camper. We have lone ventures too, and are quick to accommodate each others’ plans. Settling down does not mean we have to settle-in.
10. We are, and we always will be, best friends. Yes lovers. Yes parents. Also best friends. People that love to talk to each other about anything and everything. The silly things, like how I was so tired I almost tried to pay for my Americano with a bowl of oatmeal this morning, or how his day was just the worst. Being BFFs is about having secrets that no one else will ever know, about dreaming together, about always having each others’ backs, and thinking the best, not the worst.
He is my best friend and I like him. I think he’s funny and smart and that he is the best dad. I like that he thinks its cute when I cry, and funny when I’m angry. And if I’m going to be hangry or unreasonable or frazzled or depressed, I’d rather be that way with him than any other place on earth.
Because the thing is, our marriage is a place for our most ugly, but it’s also a place for our best and our most beautiful.
For more reading like this check out 10 Reasons to Stop Judging Parents.
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Special thanks to Sands of Time Design for my feature photo!
