22. You can’t take back your words. Not everything needs to be talked out right away. Sometimes it is better to give yourself (or your spouse) a few hours or a full day to let the emotions cool and think through exactly why you are so upset before you have the conversation.
23. Should you ever feel wronged by your husband, your family is not who you talk to about it.
On In-laws, family, and friendships:
24. Kids don’t make you a family, you are a family from the moment you vow yourselves to each other.
25. Understanding that you are a family from the moment you wed helps you understand that your marriage is the crux of your family life. It has been there before there were kids, and it will be there after the kids are gone. And it will be there whether the Lord blesses you with children or not. Investing in your marriage is investing in your family. Choosing your marriage is choosing your family.
26. Should conflict or offense arise with your in-laws, allow your husband to be the one to resolve it. If conflicts arise between your husband and his in-laws, you be the one to resolve it.
27. Make a point to evenly divide family holidays between your in-laws and parents to the best of your ability. Don’t be afraid to set aside time for your own family traditions (even before kids).
28. Establish some kind of regular routine with your in-laws. (Maybe it’s dinner once a month, a weekly phone call…)
29. “Couple friends” are much rarer than it might seem, and maybe even a bit over-rated. Nevertheless, don’t stop investing in friendships.
On Everyday Life:
30. Laugh. A lot. And don’t take yourselves too seriously in a marriage. Laugh through the romantic fails, the burned dinners, and the times you are left clueless at how to parent your child’s most recent tantrum. Lighten your loads and the all the trying-so-hard to be a good wife/husband/parent with laughter.
31. Rejoice in the lifetime you have to “figure it out.” Take the pressure off one another having to be great from the beginning.
32. His inability to put his shoes (or dirty laundry or dirty dishes…) where they go is not an accurate measure of his love and respect for you.
33. Part of a God-glorifying relationship looks like trusting God to do the work in your spouse’s heart…in God’s own good timing.
34. Make a habit of praying with each other in a marriage.
35. Make a habit of praying for him. And don’t undermine this humble little point. Pray for him daily.
36. No two people break the same. No two people grieve the same. When and if you face some kind of hardship or major change, give one another the gift of room to be affected differently.
37. More than he needs you to be right, he needs to know you have his back whether he succeeds or fails.
38. Maybe you know that on your wedding day you’re taking a giant leap of faith–promising to face the rest of your uncertain futures together. But a marriage isn’t one leap of faith you make that first day, it’s a daily leap of faith–a daily re-falling in love. You have to join hands and jump into so many uncertain futures–job losses, setbacks, adventures, becoming parents, moves, promotions, parenting two-year-olds and teenagers, illnesses, retirement, and all the ways life can change a person.
Which number resonates with you the most? Do you have anything to add to my list? Let me know in the comments!
***These are all little pieces of wisdom I have gleaned in 11 years from my imperfect, but most-often healthy marriage. These are not meant for counseling. If you are in an abusive relationship or facing a difficult storm in your marriage, please consider seeking help from a certified counselor.
By Grace,
Amanda Conquers
This article originally appeared at AmandaConquers.com.
