By: Laura Lee Arant
I gaze into a bowl. It’s one of our everyday dishes, picked by me for the subtle floral pattern embossed in the rim. But now, I see Honey Bunches of Oats residue- left to harden by one of three daughters. The cereal’s dry, crusty remains, now hard as the dish itself-waiting for me to do the sand blasting. Such is the life of a mom. If your kids never forget to clean their own dishes, please don’t speak to me, I concede that you are a better mom than me, okay? This is my reality.
Obviously, dirty dishes are not the point. They are just part of the landscape. I recently read a book that gave me a fresh perspective on my role in these girl’s lives. In The Eternal Mark of a Mom, by Linda Weber, there was encouragement for the daily work of motherhood, challenge to mother more intentionally, and hope for the endgame- launching able, caring, responsible and loving human beings into the world.
I’ll never forget how it all began, years ago, when my husband Joe and I welcomed our first baby, Megan—all 4 lbs of her. When the tiny angelic face of our blanket-swaddled girl was gently placed my arms for the first time- life-altering love welled up in me for this little one. When Joe and my eyes met, unspoken in our glance was both the wonder of the moment and abject fear of the great unknown that stretched before us as we realized that a real live human being was now our responsibility.
Let’s face it- our kid’s didn’t come with instructions. And for that reason, I loved that Weber’s book was long on practical guidance for young mothers as well as those with school-aged and even older kids. Her wisdom extended to single moms, working moms and even those who have had tragedy or life experiences that separate them from a clear category.
In some ways, I found her book to be revolutionary as today’s culture seems to devalue mothers who take on that role with gusto. She writes in her chapter about personal fulfillment, “Many women have acted as if motherhood was a brand of mediocrity to bear—if you can’t make it in ‘the real world.’”
