When the boys first met my husband, we were at Disneyland.
How’s that for stacking the deck?
Clearly they loved him… like immediately. In fact, I was freaking out because my youngest son took his hand and started walking around Adventure Land with him like he’d known him for years after about 7 seconds. I distinctly remember thinking, “NoNoNoNoNo! Do not get attached, Little Man. He is a wonderful guy, but there is no way we can be anything other than friends“.
By the end of the day, he was on Mick’s shoulders eating ice cream and dripping it onto his head. My oldest was holding his hand. I was standing off to the side praying, “Lord, I know I will likely never have this man as my husband, but thank you for showing me one like him exists. My boys need one like him. So do I. Please bring one like him to us, in your timing. Amen.”
We were married the following year… ’cause God is straight awesome like that.
Fast forward almost five years.
It’s unbelievable to see what has happened in our family.
Mick and I were so worried and so careful when we first got married.
We thought for sure there would be angst and anger and weirdness for the boys, as Mick became a part of our daily lives. For instance, because the boys were very young when their dad and I separated, neither of them had any memory of a man ever sleeping in mommy’s bed… ever. (Side note, for two months after we were married, Mick actually just “spent the night” a few times a week to help ease the transition. We were so worried about this that we didn’t officially move in together for 10 weeks.)
We thought there would be all the things you hear about in blended families – the boys feeling replaced, being super angry and defiant, screaming at Mick, “You’re NOT MY DAD!”, etc.
Turns out, Mick and I were the ones who had the angst and anger and weirdness. Despite our desperate concern to not be some sort of horrible step-family statistic, the boys adjusted better than we did.
From the beginning, they believed Mick when he told them he was making a commitment to them too. They trusted that he moved in with us and shared our days because he loved them, not just their momma.
As you can imagine, I am beyond grateful for this man they call “Mick Mick”. With all the messiness and crazy our circumstances bring, it has not been easy for a previously single, never married, never had children bachelor to take on all of this.
It has not been easy for me to give him the grace to just learn how to do this kid thing.
It has not been easy to start our marriage with an autism diagnosis, and all that comes with it.
It has not been easy for my husband to accept and adjust his expectations of how this was all gonna go.
Because, it hasn’t gone the way we thought it would… not at all.
But he fights, every single day for us. Sometimes with more energy than others, but still, he fights.
Because it’s Father’s Day this weekend, it seems appropriate to again honor the man that functions as the boys’ father, day in and day out, even without the formal title.
Here are some of the ways he rocks this whole step-dad gig:
He Is The Hero
