With all that’s going on in the world right now, parenting looks different than it did just a few months ago. Whether it’s discussing the coronavirus pandemic, or having conversations about race and privilege, it can be hard to know where to start.
If there’s anything I’ve learned in my time on this earth, it’s that hard conversations are always worth it. And that’s just what one Twitter user is begging white parents to do right now: have the hard conversations.
Dr. Mathangi Subramanian took to Twitter last year to share an experience she had at the park with her daughter just days prior. This week—amidst the turmoil and call for change around our country, her poignant words are being shared again across social media for all the right reasons.
“Still processing this, but two days ago, two blonde girls at the playground told my daughter she couldn’t play with them because she doesn’t have blonde hair,” Mathangi wrote in a now-viral Twitter thread. “The girls’ parents did not intervene. You better believe I did.”
Still processing this, but two days ago, two blonde girls at the playground told my daughter she couldn’t play with them because she doesn’t have blonde hair.
The girls’ parents did not intervene.
You better believe I did.— Dr. Mathangi Subramanian (@mathangiwrites) April 18, 2019
Mathangi says she and her daughter, who is just three years old, discussed the incident on their walk home. But as a woman of color with a black daughter, this wasn’t their first rodeo. At only three years old, Mathangi’s daughter has already been subject to racism, exclusion, and hate because of the color of her skin.
“It wasn’t our first time,” Mathangi said of the playground incident. “The first time was when she was two, and she came home from preschool saying that her skin was black, and we talked about how dark skin is beautiful.”
“Here is the point,” she continued, “Parents of color talk about race with our kids all the time. We have no choice. It’s there, everywhere, and we can’t avoid it.”
Here is the point: parents of color talk about race with our kids all the time. We have no choice. It’s there, everywhere, and we can’t avoid it.
I told the blonde kids at the playground that they can’t exclude people. I did it calmly and politely, while their parents watched.— Dr. Mathangi Subramanian (@mathangiwrites) April 18, 2019
Mathangi says that she calmly told the blonde kids at the playground that they can’t exclude people while their parents watched. But the problem is, she shouldn’t have had to.
“Those parents should have intervened,” she writes. “They should’ve said something. My daughter was watching. Their daughters were watching. White parents: TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT RACE. I know it’s uncomfortable. But the rest of us do it all the time. We need you to do it too.”
